Chapter 476 – BIBLEACH
People of considerable age weep and pray like they’re insane.
On the flip side, the children have shining eyes filled with anticipation—a completely contradictory situation.
In the center of it all, Caressy throws out a rather unexpected question.
“What do you think Jesus’ real name is?”
“…..Yes…?”
“Real name, I said.”
At that, the kids start to speak up one by one.
“Jesus Christ?”
“Yahweh!”
“Joshua!”
“Our dad!”
“The one who made a virgin lose her virginity the moment he was born!”
‘……This is getting weirder and weirder…’
[But at least, it’s not wrong.]
It seems everyone has received solid biblical education, as they provide pretty convincing answers.
However, Caressy shakes her head slowly after hearing their responses.
“You’re correct, but not exactly.”
With that, the noisy kids begin to hush one by one, falling into silence.
As that silence settles, Caressy’s clear voice breaks through.
“It’s Joseph’s son, Joshua.”
Once she finishes speaking, the silence continues, but this time the meaning is slightly different.
Earlier it was anticipation; now, it’s a hint of doubt.
“…..What’s different between that and what we said?”
“It’s the same.”
Not the answer they wanted, the children grumble momentarily.
Taking advantage of that opening, Caressy swiftly adds another line.
“In English, it becomes ‘Joshua son of Joseph,’ doesn’t it?”
The kids still look confused, except for the boy who spoke to Caressy at first; his expression is dramatically different.
There’s a mix of shock born from realization on his face.
“Huh? No way?”
“That’s right!”
As soon as she finishes that line, Caressy beams with joy, clearly expressing her delight at finally getting the correct answer across.
“Jesus is actually JoJo!”
That’s quite a shocking statement, but it seems the kids are unfazed by it.
Instead of grasping it, they merely express their own queries.
“But JoJo’s enemy isn’t even in the Bible, right?”
“Right! If it’s JoJo, there should definitely be a rival!”
“And that’s why you have to read the Bible properly!”
But at that moment, what Caressy says next makes it clear.
“It’s none other than ‘Pontius DIO Pilate!’”
“Oh.”
[Is it really fair to treat Pilate as a rival? Doesn’t he have a bit of a grievance there?]
‘These days, they say there’s some unavoidable responsibility in religious viewpoints.’
The children quickly accept that idea.
“Walking on water was actually a ripple!”
“When Jesus said, ‘Come to me,’ he meant to come nicely if you didn’t want to match up!”
“Then that means the weakness of vampires is the cross!”
“Every time I see the cross, it reminds me of the fear of the first ripple warrior, Jesus!”
However, not every child took this at face value.
“But JoJo really isn’t my type.”
“I find it too bizarre to fully grasp.”
“Honestly, I find it hard to want to read more…”
Well, that’s an outcome that can’t be helped.
No matter how popular a boys’ manga might be, personal preferences exist in abundance.
It’s almost impossible for something to satisfy everyone in this world.
Yet, as if anticipating this, Caressy grins maliciously.
“I never said it’s just a boys’ manga.”
“…..Yes…?”
That grin had an eerily familiar quality to it.
“Ah~ I didn’t want to showcase miracles in a place like this… (Matt 20:34)”
“Uh?! No, no way!”
Joy starts creeping onto the faces of the kids as they realize what it means.
“If it’s known that I perform miracles, everyone will call me the King of the Jews! (John 6:15)
Be sure to see it clearly, and tell no one… (Matt 9:30)
Persecution!!! (Mark 15:19)”
That’s a very famous character’s line.
Of course, it’s more famous for being the other kind of meaning.
Just that line alone was enough to excite the little ones.
“Jesus also mastered the powerful attack!”
“The cross was… Jesus’ true death…!”
“Jesus punch!”
“……That’s a different manga.”
“Oh.”
[……But can the kids even watch that?]
‘In Japan, they buy adult magazines at a young age, so it might be fine.’
[True…]
Not stopping there, Caressy begins to provide additional answers to the children’s questions.
“Just like Ikakku deliberately doesn’t take the role of leader, Jesus…?”
“Of course, he just wants to preach freely, right?”
The kids begin to wear expressions of being deeply impressed.
“So, does it mean that it took Jesus three days to resurrect because…?”
“Ah, Jesus’ resurrection took a little time because of his laid-back personality.”
It truly was a pleasant sight for the Lord to behold.
“What about the ability to heal people…?”
“Isn’t earthen return also healing type?”
[But Jesus was resurrected, and yet the Dragon Monarch’s Earthen Return can’t be repaired, which makes him a total idiot, right?]
‘So, Jesus still has the wounds in his palms, feet, and side, right?’
[Ah, f*ck… that’s true…]
Still, aside from one serious-looking boy.
The words he uttered were heavy, sharp.
They were enough to quickly deflate the bubbling excitement of the kids.
“But isn’t it a bit much to put Jesus on the same level as that idiot?”
It truly is a reprehensible act.
Not so much out of sacrilege but rather for treating him as the same as that fool.
However, Caressy seems to have anticipated that point as she shakes her head.
“I said that but, Jesus isn’t just some idiot like Ikakku.”
“What do you mean? No matter how I look at it, you’re treating Jesus like an idiot…”
As the boy grumbles in a slightly gloomy tone.
Caressy suddenly brushes her hair backward and grins.
“No, Jesus is really Sosuke Aizen!”
At that, the kids, who had bowed their heads, silently start to turn their gazes toward Caressy.
The moment all the children’s attention is focused on her, Caressy finally opens her mouth.
Simultaneously, she begins to prove her point in real-time.
“The rich are the farthest from heaven. (Matt 19:24)
Since when did this girl mistakenly think she was dead? (Matt 9:24)
Is it not blasphemy for Satan to dare to ‘test’ me? (Matt 4:7)
Miracles exist for those who cannot live without relying on them. (John 4:48)
Don’t raise your voice like that. (Mark 4:39)
From now on…I will stand in heaven. (Luke 24:51)
Don’t use too strong words… it will be denied. (John 13:38)”
The great poem of the deity incarnate in this world.
Bleach was all inspired by Kubo.
The Bible was entirely inspired by Bleach.
“Do you still say Jesus isn’t Sosuke Aizen!!!”
At that, all the kids cheered, and some even shed tears.
They realized the Bible is similar to a boys’ manga, and that Jesus, its protagonist, is truly deserving of that title.
Seeing that, the Bible and Bleach seem incredibly similar.
‘Ichigo and Jesus can be seen as somewhat comparable, right?’
[Then cut off my left arm and leg!]
‘……In fact, Jesus is the higher version…’
No, the Bible might even be considered better than Bleach since its protagonist isn’t an idiot.
Still, one might raise a question here.
No matter how much the Bible is revered, can it rival the flower of Bleach known as poetry?
But the Bible certainly meets even that criterion.
“Don’t live in escape. You die hanging on the cross. (John 18:11)
We fear because we possess no form. (Matt 14:26)
I’m merely practicing saying goodbye to you. (Matt 16:21)
Try putting your fingers in the hole in my side. (John 20:27)”
In this aspect, isn’t the Bible truly perfect?
[In moments like this, it’s a relief that there’s no supervisor like in other novels.]
‘Looks like I’ll be tagged as a watcher soon…’
[F*ck.]
As everyone simultaneously calls out for the Lord.
Suddenly, Caressy pulls out something in front of them.
“Do you all know how important the Bible is?”
That was something I had somewhat anticipated since coming here.
It was, rather surprisingly, an item I had wondered why it hadn’t appeared until now.
“Then let’s each show the Lord our sincerity!”
‘This crazy lady… Is she any different from Ayeon…?’
[But at least it’s voluntary, so it’s much better…]
What she revealed was a large donation box that a person could fit into.
In fact, the shape of the donation box was very similar to the money box found in Japanese shrines.
“If you pray while donating, your sins will be forgiven, and your prayers will be answered!”
It was a meticulously calculated strategy targeting people’s perceptions in Japan.
At this stage, one might think she’s less of a saint and more like a businesswoman.
And surprisingly enough, it proved successful.
Perhaps due to the people gathered here being deeply immersed in their faith.
Or perhaps, seeing the familiar money box made them react unconsciously.
A significant number began to put their donations into the box while fervently praying.
“Let the CCTV of the store I visit break…”
“I accidentally raped my girlfriend’s little brother… Please forgive me, Lord…”
“Please let my little sister give birth to my wife…”
“Next time, please don’t create a puppy that turns me on… Lord…”
Naturally, since this is the Hunter Academy.
[Not surprising…]
‘That can’t really be managed by religion… Ha… f*ck…’
[Thank goodness it’s only this level because it’s religion.]
While everyone prayed inhumanely.
From here, it became a little difficult to see it as a successful scene.
Do you know the saying that faith is extremely dangerous if taken too far?
“Saintess, I have a question about the Bible.”
“What part of the Bible that we just received are you asking about?”
It was the same for Caressy.
“What I want to ask about is the Old Testament.”
“Ah, f*ck.”
Finally, the trials begin for Caressy.
