〈 Episode 255 〉 Episode 249 – Fong Fong Dan (FFD) (Warning: Absolutely not recommended for the faint-hearted.)
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※ Warning – Last episode and this one might lead you straight into a chaos state, so I can’t recommend it for the faint-hearted. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. The next episode will start with a three-line summary for those who haven’t seen a dangerous episode.
A sight I couldn’t have ever imagined.
The moment the heroines started cursing.
Piece shouted desperately.
[Please, close your eyes and cover your ears!!!]
‘But…’
Even as I fumbled my words, my eyes wide open, Piece began to plead with me.
[I have no choice but to experience what you see and hear!]
‘But I can’t just die alone.’
[You idiot!!!!!!!]
I quickly looked around.
Only then did I start to understand the uncomfortable feeling I had earlier.
In the street.
Muscular male beastmen were grinding against each other.
I prayed that what I saw was not the norm as I looked around.
There must be female beastmen.
Please, there has to be.
With such vague hope, I looked around extensively, but.
Regrettably.
Every beastman in sight was male.
Not a single one was different.
“Our dear, why is your butt like this today?”
“I tried to give it a little lift for you.”
“…I want to touch it.”
“…That’s what I wanted.”
Just holding hands seemed fortunate enough.
It was standard for them to fondle each other’s rear ends or lower bodies.
Sticky hugs and vulgar kisses were common.
Some even seemed to go into heat.
In a slightly distant place, a wolf beastman clung to a bear beastman.
And eventually, the wolf beastman pushed the bear beastman down, starting to rip his clothes.
“I can’t hold back! Let’s do it here!”
“This isn’t right!”
“…Sorry.”
The bear beastman seemed taken aback by the wolf beastman’s fierce reaction.
He looked so dejected that his wildly moving tail came to a stop.
The bear beastman gently stroked the faltering wolf beastman.
“I didn’t mean to steal your words.”
“I love it!!!!”
Soon, they became one.
But that wasn’t the end of it.
Those passing by watched.
“Hey! Are you in heat?! Let us join in!”
“You’ve made it hard for us, so take responsibility!”
“…Today is gonna be a five-way fusion, huh?”
Instead of stopping them, they joined in with cheers.
It was truly a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah.
It was natural for the heroines to be outraged.
“F*ck!!!! Let me die!!!!”
“Why was the elf the only normal one! These insane bastards for real!!!”
“Succubi are supposed to be very reserved… f*ck.”
And their fury turned towards me.
“You didn’t tell us this is what we’d find, you bastard!!!”
“I came to see a raccoon with a duck bill, and this is what I get!!!”
“Since it’s come to this, I’ll gouge out your eyes and your companion’s too!!!”
I felt wronged too.
Who would have thought this place would be like that?
But all I could do was.
“…Caresy, you fcking btch… if this was such a sh*thole, you should have at least given us a warning…”
I could only resent the one responsible for bringing us here.
It was such a disgusting sight that I had to find Caresy quickly.
Three slaps might ease my mood a bit.
[I’ve completely betrayed your expectations.]
‘F*ck, you little brat.’
Anyway, I approached a relatively decent pair of beasts.
To find the way to the church of the order.
However.
[Everyone’s avoiding us.]
‘Why is that?’
Everyone consistently ignored us as they passed.
Some shot disdainful looks, as if they’d seen something they shouldn’t.
Most conveyed through their bodies that they didn’t want to get involved.
[Since it’s come to this, flaunt your masculinity and join them!]
‘You’re dead.’
[I’m sorry!!! It was my fault! Please don’t show me that scene!!!]
I couldn’t understand why they were avoiding us.
I could only assume it was the order’s policy to reject outsiders.
At that moment.
Thud thud thud.
“Everyone, get down!!!!”
A heavy voice echoed.
At that, all the beastmen ceased their actions and began to bow down.
Except for us.
I looked around, wondering what was going on, and in the distance, a group was approaching with heavy footsteps.
As they got closer, I had an idea of who it might be.
Holy Knights.
However, they all had unfamiliar faces and were quite different in appearance.
They looked nothing like the Holy Knights I had traveled with Caresy before.
In fact, it was only as they got close that I could tell who they were because of their identical armor, but in brown and shields.
Strangely enough, none of them were holding the spear, the pride of Holy Knights.
The only commonality with the Holy Knights I had met before was that they were all cat beastmen.
But unlike the previous Holy Knights, they had more than one tail.
[Wasn’t it supposed to be that beastmen have only one tail?]
‘There are two tails and four arms, so having two tails isn’t that surprising.’
That wasn’t particularly shocking.
In an era where all sorts of beastmen existed, commenting on tail counts could land you in trouble for tail discrimination.
Anyway, I knew they were Holy Knights.
All I needed was to ask them for directions to the church.
Thinking that, as I approached them to inquire.
“How dare you, reckless little brat, step foot here!!!”
“Got hair on your head, you bastard. You have a lot to lose.”
The foremost Holy Knight came up to me and made a threatening gesture.
Then he spat right in front of my feet and shot back sharply.
“Get lost, outsider!”
Smack!!!
Of course, I reflexively kicked the Holy Knight in his lower regions.
[Well done!!!]
‘…this time, I won’t be stopped.’
[I was feeling sh*tty too!!!]
With the already sh*tty situation making my anger threshold dangerously low.
Since he was in armor, I drove my kick with maximum force.
He wouldn’t die.
But he would certainly be half an idiot.
I raised my hand to the wheezing Holy Knight, whose armor had crumpled.
“Hehehe…”
“Don’t push me, seriously.”
Immediately, the Holy Knights began casting me hostile glares.
An imminent situation.
In that moment, the largest Holy Knight among them dragged the one I kicked towards the group.
“Who do you think you are to attack the sacred ones!”
“I’m a doctor.”
I stepped forward as they growled at me.
“What the hell is a doctor doing here!”
He looked like the leader of the knights since he wore a cloak.
But he wasn’t Peria, the leader I had met before.
Peria was a black panther beastman, while this leader Holy Knight was just a dog-like beastman.
Then the leader Holy Knight slammed his shield into the ground and began to shout.
“We are the order’s new Holy Knights, Furry Furry Daisuki! Commonly called FFD!”
“Can’t you just go with ‘Die’ instead of Daisuki? Please just die.”
Then, shaking his right fist furiously, he glared at me.
“Do you dare to oppose us, the FFD!!!”
“Shut your mouth. You’re just Fong Fong Dan, you dishwashing bastards.”
[That’s not only applicable to marriage between women and men?]
‘You have a remarkably narrow view in a PC age.’
Besides, I had no intentions of sparing these surrendered beastmen.
This was a place overflowing with furry gays.
The Beastman Kingdom fully follows the order’s policies.
In other words, these bastards’ order was the root cause of the current situation.
“I’ll make you an idiot.”
“Do you really think you can defeat us?”
At that moment, a number above the leader Holy Knight’s head increased by one.
We were still too far off for a mirror fragment to appear, but his suddenly ominous grin was rather unsettling.
“Hehehe. You will soon be fleeing with your tails between your legs.”
“Yeah, right. You better pray your limbs return in one piece.”
But we had plenty of crazy women on our side.
Especially those that are anything but ordinary.
“Die, you sh*tty gay bastards.”
Moreover, this was the Beastman Kingdom.
Thus, using my abilities wouldn’t draw sanctions from South Korea.
This means I could mess these punks up as I pleased.
Of course, later on, South Korea might hold us accountable.
But taking out these cat bastards in front of me was the priority.
It was clear that passing this point would just add to the sweet potato points.
“Are you ready for martyrdom, you c*nts?”
“That hide can go for three times the price!”
“No matter how strong you are, you can’t withstand a Great Demon’s 3000 times attack.”
The heroines ground their teeth and prepared for battle.
I understood.
They must have been incredibly pissed off too.
But the leader Holy Knight before me seemed unaffected as his ominous grin deepened.
Slowly, he began to reach behind him.
Seeing that, I crossed my arms, closed my eyes, and opened my mouth.
“Recite a haiku.”
“Hehehe. Just don’t let it be something you’ll regret.”
And then.
Pong! Pong! Pong!!!
A strange sound echoed.
It was quite alien yet somehow familiar.
The moment I turned my gaze to the leader Holy Knight after hearing that noise, I couldn’t help but sigh.
“……Ah, f*ck. This has truly crossed a line.”
Because the hand that had just been pointed behind the leader Holy Knight.
Had a tail attached to it.
A tail adorned with thick brass bells.
“……Please tell me what I saw was fake.”
“It’s a fake tail, but just as precious as a real one!”
“Shut it, you bastard!”
[So it wasn’t just dishwashing; it was literally Fong Fong!]
‘At this rate, I might seriously get reported and go down, f*ck.’
There was indeed a reason for having more than one tail.
One was real, but the rest were all artificially attached.
“Who the fck do you think you are to call yourself a Holy Knight (？？？), you shtty gay bastards!!!”
“No.”
And the reason they weren’t holding spears was the same.
Because their true weapon was not a spear, but the artificial tails they were currently holding.
“Just call me a Holy Knight (？？？)!”
“F*ck.”
The leader Holy Knight began swinging the metal balls attached to his tail and charged at us.
Seeing the wildly charging leader Holy Knight, we.
Ran away.
“Let’s bounce, f*ck!!!!!!”
“Don’t let them catch you!!! Everyone, take your swords out (？？)!!!”
“”””””””Let’s draw swords (？？)!!!””””””””
Pong! Pong! Pong! Pong! Pong! Pong! Pong! Pong!
The pong pong sound echoed as the Holy Knights chased after us.
In the tight situation.
Piece muttered as if distressed.
[It’s gay gay…]
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