EP.79
I had witnessed hell.
I saw what should not have been seen.
I had arrived at, and would soon arrive at, that hell.
For him, the word “hell” meant every moment he was alive at this very moment, living his own life.
Precisely because of this, he didn’t particularly like his life.
He had always been a lonely man.
In his view, there was nothing beautiful in the world.
Nothing eternal existed in this world.
Even if a machine were made entirely of steel, the truth was that the more it was used, the more it wore out—an inescapable fate.
And for him, what had worn out was, indeed, the very time spent with others.
Even while living in the same space, sharing the same time with others, he felt an extremely faint sense of reality that he was alive.
Over the past hundred years, he traversed the same timeline countless times to prevent an unavoidable demise and ascended through time to change the future.
And in that process, he witnessed many deaths and etched the sacrifices of countless individuals into his heart.
At first, it was sorrowful. He would cry for the deaths of others, grasping his heart once more, vowing that their sacrifices would not be in vain.
But when exactly did it begin?
At some point, he became utterly numb to the deaths of others.
Just like playing a game, he became desensitized to the deaths of others and even reached a point where he coldly analyzed the ’causes of death’.
After all, he would be revived anyway.
Once he regressed, everything that had occurred would completely cease to exist.
After all, he had another chance; if he did better next time, he could make their deaths as if they had never happened—
Thus, what was once a noble ideal descended into a powerless obligation.
And so he became exhausted.
Living through long years, he, too, had forgotten, without realizing it.
He forgot what he had lost and what he had been pursuing.
What was the wish he longed for, that made him traverse countless timelines endlessly?
“Master, may I speak a word, though I am merely your Heavenly Maiden?”
And when was it? After yet another fierce battle had concluded, she approached her weary lord and quietly offered her counsel.
“What is it you wish to say? Are you planning to drape me with more of your nonsensical scolding again?”
Her lord clicked his tongue quietly as he gazed at her.
“Nonsensical scolding, you say? I am merely your faithful servant, who always thinks of your well-being. How could I possibly scold you, my master?”
“…That’s precisely what scolding is. If you have something to say, say it quickly and disappear from my sight. I have no desire to converse with anyone right now.”
He truly seemed to be exhausted and fatigued, waving her off dismissively.
However, if she thought he would back down at this level, she would not have even had the thought to speak up in the first place, so she firmly remained before her master and quietly opened her mouth.
“Why do you keep the Lady so far away instead of by your side? And when do you plan to show me your child, my master?”
“…The Lady? The child?”
In an instant, her master’s expression, which had been adorned with fatigue just moments ago, morphed into one of shock, and he hastily covered her mouth as if to prevent anyone from hearing.
“How do you know that? I don’t recall ever sharing my romantic life with you!”
“Of course, you have never mentioned anything about the Lady to me, my master. However, I possess the ability to see both the past and the future, do I not? I merely glanced at the future related to you through my powers.”
As she spoke, she took a glance at Altina, who was polishing her sword over there.
“I had thought it was not my place to interfere, so I merely observed. However, as your Heavenly Maiden, I find your actions somewhat difficult to understand, Master. You loved the Lady once and still do, don’t you? Then why do you keep your distance and consciously try to push her away?”
“That doesn’t seem to be something you should concern yourself with.”
“If I may speak impertinently, I believe you are afraid, Master. You seem to be shrinking back, terrified of forming attachments. Just as before, you’re afraid of watching the Lady slip away from your grasp, aren’t you?”
At that moment, her master’s expression stiffened, as if struck at the core.
Just like those who are hit where it hurts, he exhibited a slight trace of anger towards her.
But that was only momentary; he sighed and glanced over at Altina, who was sitting a distance away. No matter how one looked at it, his expression undoubtedly conveyed agreement with her words.
“…Yes, that’s true. I am consciously keeping my distance from Altina. Though I still have feelings for her, it’s precisely because of that that I fear standing by her side. This world is filled with ruin, and I certainly won’t be able to protect Altina until the very end in this life.”
“To prioritize my feelings and stay with her under these circumstances would be sheer selfishness on my part. Rather, it would be right to bear everything without letting Altina know.”
“No, that’s not it. Master.”
At that very moment, she boldly interrupted his words, declaring them with conviction.
“That is exactly why you should not resist your own desires. I believe you should pursue happiness with all your might while staying true to what you wish for and what you desire.”
“…What?”
In an instant, her master’s expression turned to one of disbelief.
“Do you truly understand what I just said? You must know this well: this world is currently hurtling toward ruin in real time, a world filled with death. In such a world, what difference does it make to indulge in romance?”
“At the very least, it could change your mood, Master. Perhaps you would not suffer as you do now.”
She spoke quietly but insisted passionately, as if unwilling to concede this point.
“To want to love her, to want to hold her close, to want to exclusively claim her—such desires are the very meaning and driving force of human existence. If you forcibly suppress them, then there would be no meaning left to live.”
“Love. Have affection for someone. And in that process, recall the desires you once held, Master. That is the only happiness you can pursue on the journey that lies ahead of you.”
Listening to her counsel, reminiscent of a prophet from myth, a distant light shone in her words, and her master finally cracked a smile.
“That all sounds good, but you see, I’m a romantic at heart. I’m not really inclined to charm a different woman each time and impose my unrequited love on her.”
“That’s perfectly fine. Isn’t that exactly why your Heavenly Maiden is here by your side, to prepare for such situations?”
“…What?”
In an instant, her master couldn’t comprehend what she was trying to convey.
“It is not my intention to boast, but I have never considered myself lacking in beauty or form compared to other women. Moreover, I am the only companion who can understand you on this journey that you will continue, Master. So, if you feel the desire to embrace a woman in the future, I will wholeheartedly offer myself to you.”
“…Yourself?”
“Oh, if you were thinking I might try to replace the Lady as a primary wife or something like that, you need not worry. I am merely a servant who stands by your side, and I wouldn’t harbor such dreams that do not fit my role.”
…What a crazy woman. How can she so easily speak of offering herself to another man?
Indeed, if she were of sound mind, she wouldn’t have troubled him by declaring herself his servant in the first place.
Whether she was aware of his thoughts or not, she once again deeply bowed her head toward her master and quietly spoke.
“Please remember. And do not forget. I am always on your side, just as I have been until now and will continue to be.”
“…Ah.”
He opened his eyes. No, his eyes were forcibly opened.
He recalled lying down on Altina’s lap, listening to a lullaby just before losing consciousness, but he couldn’t remember what had happened afterward.
If there was anything he could remember, it was the unsettling feeling that someone had entered and exited his mind.
His head hurt. Just moments ago, his entire body had been in agony from the rebound of Exceed; now, it felt as if an overwhelming headache would cause his eyes to pop out.
What is going on? What happened while I was asleep?
– Look to your side.
He heard a voice, seemingly filled with disdain, from Ereka. Following her voice, he slightly turned his head to the side and—
“Huh?”
He saw Serika von Valentine lying right next to him.
Not only that, but she looked as if she was in the middle of undressing, her attire precariously revealing.
…Why is she lying next to me in such a state? And before that, why is she in the bed where I was lying?
No matter how he thought about it, the situation was incomprehensible; he reflexively lifted the blanket he had been covering himself with.
“…..”
Fortunately, it seemed that he and Serika hadn’t crossed any lines.
…But is it really something to be grateful for? Could this possibly indicate some sort of responsibility without pleasure?
He genuinely hadn’t touched her at all, so why was she sleeping next to him in such a state?
If someone else were to witness this situation, wouldn’t it lead to social suicide?
As he hesitated, unable to decide what to do, Serika, who had been sound asleep beside him, gently opened her eyes.
“…Umm.”
First, Serika confirmed that he was next to her, then noticed her disheveled clothing and her face flushed bright red.
…Could it be that she’s misunderstanding something? If I had indeed done something strange, then I wouldn’t even be able to protest—after all, I really hadn’t laid a finger on her!
“…You’ve finally awoken, Master. I was genuinely worried, as you had been unconscious for quite a long time.”
“Yes, Senpai. But why were you lying here—”
Suddenly, an icy chill ran down his spine. What did she just say? If he heard correctly, Serika had just clearly told him—
“Please lower your voice. There’s no need for you to refer to me as Senpai. At least when we’re in a place where others cannot hear, you need not use honorifics with me.”
As she spoke, Serika bowed slightly to him without fixing her disheveled clothing.
“The Heavenly Maiden greets her one and only Master. Your sole servant, Serika von Valentine.”
“…..”
It seemed clear that the one in this room was not Serika, the vice president of the student council and his upperclassman, but rather the insane woman, Serika von Valentine, who declared herself his slave.
