Now, I could kill Ariel. After watching him for days, the opportunity finally presented itself.
I fiddled with the dagger hidden behind my back. If I stab him here, can I go back? Without becoming a monster.
I don’t know.
On a night when the full moon was deep, my thoughts were equally profound.
I was troubled for a long time. It’s not that I didn’t want to go back, but there weren’t exactly compelling reasons to kill him.
Even I questioned why I was pondering this. Isn’t there no reason to hesitate?
Tonight, he wouldn’t survive the night. The hero of this generation, and the protagonist of this world, Ariel, would unfortunately be killed by a passing Back Alley Monster.
A story without a protagonist cannot exist. Therefore, this world that swallowed me will naturally collapse and spit me out.
The story wraps up here. For some, it may be a tragic ending, while for others, it could be liberation and hope.
“Mmm…”
Having made my decision in my mind, I slowly lifted the dagger.
The forest and the full moon. And under the dreamy atmosphere, I took slow steps towards Ariel, who was gazing only at the sky.
Is this the end?
I thought it was a long nightmare.
As I was about to plunge the dagger into Ariel, I felt a threat and stopped.
“…Ah.”
With a crack, a faint sound, I sensed a strange energy. It was the same as what I saw last time.
Starlight’s self-defense.
If I had stabbed the dagger then, my arm would have burned.
At that point, I stepped back. My mind became clear. Perhaps it was I who was entranced by the moonlight.
I questioned what the difference was between me, fearful of becoming a monster who kills people under some spell.
After regaining my senses from the threat of self-defense, what filled my head were painfully realistic thoughts.
If the hero dies and the world collapses, what happens to the remaining people? And what if I failed to kill him?
The hero couldn’t erase his memories. Killing him was something I had to think about a bit more carefully.
If this is one story and is still flowing according to its narrative, what will happen to me, who intervened midway?
I also wondered whether the protagonist, Ariel, could actually die from something like this. Even pouring out all my magical energy might not be enough.
That’s how protagonists in stories tend to be.
Even in a life-and-death situation, there’s often some intervention that allows them to survive or a kind of awakening power that exists. Ariel might also have such a possibility.
After clearing my mind, I thought once more that it seemed wise to stop.
Killing him was something I would also carry that level of risk to do.
Swinging a knife in this state, with no preparation, would yield a low chance of success.
At least, now wasn’t the time. Maybe if I come back with thorough preparation? But it didn’t seem like something impulsive I should do.
I put the dagger back away.
The night was deep.
*
Even creatures that aren’t human dream when they close their eyes and fall asleep. Generally, they’re often nightmares, but sometimes there are days when they’re not.
Today, I dreamt of becoming a human instead of a monster.
In the dream, I was going about my usual day without any difference.
I had daily conversations with Rena, teased Lucia and Wendy, and sparred lightly with Sera and Ariel.
In the dream, as a human, I had no problem fitting in with them. There was no sense of discomfort in that image.
It was a daily life that I would have experienced had I been human. I saw a world where no one was hurt. It would have been nice if it were the same in reality.
When I finally woke up and came to my senses, I thought it was a dream worse than a nightmare.
Because it wasn’t reality.
It felt similar to my current state, yet something was different. Perhaps it was largely different in terms of emotions.
The girl in my dream felt the things I couldn’t feel.
Today, I also looked in the mirror.
In the mirror was me, looking no different than usual. Long silver hair and red eyes.
A generally cold impression and a face that showed no expression.
However, today, unlike usual, I practiced smiling like other people. I used to do that well shortly after possessing this body, but for some reason, I couldn’t seem to do it now.
Standing in front of the mirror, I tried to raise the corners of my mouth.
“Mmm…”
As expected, it didn’t look like I was smiling at all. An unnatural expression that didn’t highlight any emotions.
I ended up thinking it was meaningless and gave up. I had much bigger problems than that right now.
“…”
Indeed, my eyes were redder than usual. They were always red, but they seemed even redder now. Crimson red.
I vaguely knew the reason. It was because I was hungry.
The energy I obtained by absorbing the Seed of the Demon King had run out.
And today, for the first time in a while, I wanted to drink human blood. It was beyond just wanting it; my body craved it.
While the seed could alleviate my hunger, it wouldn’t satisfy my fundamental thirst. So, I had to endure the extreme craving for blood to the point of being dizzy.
I had held on without eating for a long time.
I couldn’t go to the Academy in this condition. I decided to skip class today.
Maybe I’d go to the Back Alley for the first time in a while.
I was curious about how things had changed in a place I hadn’t been to recently.
I took off my pajamas and changed into my outdoor clothes.
I had woken from sleep, but it was still dawn. The morning air was cold.
In the back alley of the late dawn.
It was a place with few people and poor security. Recently, there were even rumors of monsters appearing, which further reduced people’s footprints.
In such a place, I was walking. Wasn’t I scared of monsters? Of course, because I was a monster myself, I wasn’t scared at all.
In the Central Empire’s back alleys, there are monsters that eat people. And that’s me.
As a Back Alley Monster that eats people, I was just looking for today’s prey.
“…It’s been a while here.”
The back alley formed from the collapse of one area within the vast Central Empire.
The name is Dusty Lane.
As I recall the name I hadn’t heard in a long time, I walked. Well, this place already had poor security even before it collapsed.
Homeless people starving to death, streets filled with all kinds of trash and filth.
However, even with all that, it strangely felt familiar. Perhaps because it was the first place I spent after stepping into the Central Empire.
This place is filled with magical energy. It’s a place that collapsed due to a monster, so the residual magic energy still had an effect.
So even if I drew out magical energy around here, it wouldn’t stand out. If one were to sense it, they would think it was simply the magic energy that had always been here.
So, I released the magical energy. I drew it out and spread it widely around.
The magic I released from my body felt like part of my physical self, allowing me to sense what was in contact with it and read their memories.
Normally, eye contact would be required for that, but with humans who have low resistance, I could do it just by making contact with magic.
“Mmm…”
Today, there were barely any people around.
Unusual.
It’s normal for a place like this to be sparse of people, but that didn’t mean there were none at all.
Why, I had seen a wide variety of humans until now, hadn’t I?
They say a crazy lesbian criminal roams around, or places that turn into drug deals, or the Knights Order does patrols.
Usually, someone should be present, but today it seemed I wasn’t so lucky.
With that, I collapsed onto the ground, feeling just like a starving piece of trash laying on the street.
I felt like I had to eat something, but I didn’t have the strength to move my body.
For a while, I decided to just lie like this.
Staring at the sky, I began to ponder what it was that I truly desired.
‘…What do I want?’
Above all, the greatest desire was to live as an ordinary human without killing anyone. In any world. But it was an impossible dream, so I didn’t include it in my options.
Right now, there were more forgotten memories than when I first entered school. At this rate, I felt that I might soon bring about the destruction of the Empire.
I was like a spark of calamity.
Perhaps I was a creature that shouldn’t exist in this world.
However, I couldn’t die.
It wasn’t that I was selfish; it was simply that I had possessed a body that doesn’t die.
Even if stabbed by a knife, I wouldn’t die, and I was highly resistant to magic. With a body that has high regeneration, I couldn’t kill the monster named ‘Iria’. I had tried many times, but all ended in failure.
Of course, it wasn’t theoretically impossible to die. I wasn’t some sort of being that could regenerate infinitely. Eventually, if I became too worn out and could no longer heal my wounds, I would probably die.
However, it would be quicker for me to lose my sanity than to die. This body seemed to rampage with magic regardless of my will once it became a certain level of exhausted.
If that happened, it would just lead to another disaster. I had yet to encounter a being strong enough to kill me.
The nearest one was Ariel. He was the protagonist of this world. In many ways, he had high potential.
Therefore, I was placing my hopes on him.
In the end, to avert disaster, one of us, either Ariel or I, had to die.
That would be the end of the nightmare.
