Chapter 332
My father was supposedly a famous actor in South Korea, or so the woman I called mother once said. Honestly, I doubt that’s true.
I was too young when the two of them split up, so there aren’t any memories of it. Besides, if he was that famous, I wouldn’t have ended up in an orphanage.
If that were true, the media, always on the lookout for sensational scoops, wouldn’t have let me slip under the radar.
But anyway, that’s not important.
The year I turned six, I was abandoned by the only family I had, that woman.
I was taken to a place called “Proper Hope Orphanage,” a private institution designed to protect kids like me, who were abandoned by their parents at a young age.
“Everyone, this is our new friend! Let’s all get along!”
Clap, clap, clap.
Faces I’d never seen before.
A space I’d never been in.
Kids around my age gave a casual round of applause without any feeling.
A childcare teacher with her hair tied back gently patted my back, encouraging me to speak.
“You said your name is Park Si-hu, right? Why don’t you say hello to your friends?”
“…”
Friends.
Can I really call these strangers friends?
Honestly, I wanted to just shut my mouth and sit quietly, but that wasn’t an option.
Now that I’d been dropped here, this cramped space was my new world.
If I showed any attitude, I’d only end up looking bad.
…Come to think of it, I had tried pretty hard not to be abandoned by that woman who claimed to be my mother, but I failed.
I can’t repeat the same mistake here.
I forced the biggest smile I could muster and opened my mouth.
“I’m Park Si-hu! Nice to meet you!”
But despite my efforts, there was always someone ready to pick a fight.
*
“Since you’re new, you’re the bottom dog here. From now on, you have to listen to everything I say, got it?”
A boy, surprisingly big for a fifth grader, declared himself the leader, swinging a stick around threateningly.
Shockingly, there was a hierarchy even in this little group, and being the youngest and the latest arrival, I naturally found myself at the bottom.
In this place, there was a hierarchy, and as the youngest and the latest arrival, I naturally occupied the bottom rung.
“If you understand, say something.”
Where he learned this from, the guy poked my cheek with a twig.
Around me were kids smaller and younger than the one they called the leader, who had their own rank in the current hierarchy.
I responded with an innocent smile.
“Got it. So I’m a rookie, huh? What do you want me to do?”
“……”
The expressions of the kids surrounding me showed confusion.
It seemed they were surprised that instead of showing annoyance or fear, I accepted it all so easily.
The so-called leader pointed with the twig towards a nearby playground.
“We’re building a secret base, so move those rocks.”
A pile of stones the size of an adult’s face. Some kids were already grunting and moving them.
Others were gathering long branches to use as supports.
At first glance, it all looked like a cheerful scene of kids working together; laughter and cooperation everywhere.
“Okay.”
I nodded.
The leader, despite wearing a face that said he felt uneasy about my smile, didn’t pick a fight or turn violent.
“But what’s your name, Leader?”
Before I moved, I asked him.
The leader showed his temper, saying, “What do you care?” but I continued smoothly.
“I’m a rookie, after all. I should at least know the leader’s name, right?”
He couldn’t come up with a proper reply and revealed his name.
“My name is Lee Jin-soo.”
“Got it. Thanks for telling me.”
“Now hurry up and move those rocks.”
“Okay. I’ll work hard.”
With that, I flashed a grin and immediately got to work moving the stones.
They were heavy enough to sway my body, but I put on a show of working ‘hard.’
I had practiced reading the mood and buttering people up plenty enough back when I lived with my mother.
‘…Lee Jin-soo. Lee Jin-soo.’
While moving the rocks, I thought about him and this place.
A new ecosystem. A new structure.
And I concluded that I needed to find a way to live anew with that little brain of mine.
‘Yeah, first I need to deal with that guy.’
*
“I’m sorry, but Jin-soo is going to another childcare center. He wanted me to tell you that he’s sorry he couldn’t say goodbye to his friends since it was a sudden decision.”
The day marked five months since I arrived here.
Lee Jin-soo, who had been secretly ruling this place under the noses of the childcare teachers, was gone.
Most of the kids were bewildered upon hearing this, but a few elementary school students like me who followed Jin-soo knew the real reason.
However, we didn’t show it.
The childcare teachers also didn’t want the incident to escalate. Everything was quietly and discreetly brushed aside.
The kid named Lee Jin-soo had to go to another childcare center for personal reasons.
That sentence was enough.
“Si-hu, do you want to play with us?”
A group of third-year elementary school students approached me. They were some of those who had once regarded Jin-soo as their leader and held a solid position among the followers.
A few months ago, they were the higher-ups among Lee Jin-soo’s subordinates who had been lurking around him and threatening me.
“No, it’s okay. I prefer books more.”
“R-right…? Got it. Then we’ll just play among ourselves. Study hard!”
The third-year student group retreated. Their tone was awkwardly laden with discomfort.
Honestly, from an ordinary perspective, the relationship between me and them was nonsensical.
I mean, seriously, what kind of situation would have a cautious conversation with a six-year-old kid who hasn’t even entered elementary school yet? They must’ve found it totally absurd.
But during these past five months, I made that possible.
I acknowledged that I couldn’t resolve situations through sheer strength at such a young age, so I managed the circumstances with the weapons I had.
‘Insight’ and ‘Acting’.
I skillfully used these two weapons, which I naturally and unnaturally acquired, to establish my position in the orphanage.
‘…Lee Jin-soo is taken care of. My image has definitely solidified positively. There’s no one bothering me anymore, so it’s time to move on to the next stage.’
I continued my plan for survival.
Even though my perspective was still limited and childish, I made an effort to view the situation as objectively as possible and considered ways to resolve it.
‘Insight and acting are useful, but they’re not enough. I’m still too foolish and there’s so much I don’t know.’
I needed to build a solid foundation.
At that time, I didn’t even know the word ‘foundation,’ yet I concluded that and took action.
Abandoned by my mother and brought to the orphanage.
If this situation were like being stuck in a muddy marsh, I had to struggle to get out of it.
I had to wriggle and thrash about like a fish out of water.
As a common mudfish, I could never escape that place otherwise.
‘Study. First, I need to study.’
Adults love obedient children.
But there’s one type of child they like even more, and that’s the one who studies well.
Just look at those third-year elementary school students playing over there; their recognition is determined by their report cards.
Building a solid foundation while creating a positive image would be a loss if I didn’t do it.
Rustle—.
Thus, I borrowed textbooks from the elementary students and self-studied.
I promised myself to rise above despite my young age, swearing to harbor that determination.
However, yet another problem arose.
‘…I have no idea what this means.’
Unfortunately, I didn’t have the best head for academics.
I was brilliant with quick thinking, but in terms of studying, I was exceedingly average.
Now that I think back, how could that little brat, who was just getting the hang of Hangul, be expected to do multiplication and division? But at the time, I didn’t take that as a given at all.
Nothing in this world is obvious.
Claiming to not understand at such a young age is merely an excuse.
Effort and cleverness.
These two secret weapons would surely save me.
With a kind of faith in that, I continued studying with the help of the higher-grade students whose grades were fairly good and the childcare teachers.
Years passed and I continued my studies with the help of Childcare Teachers.
One of the weapons I possess is my youth.
When a six-year-old said they wanted to study first, no one could refuse to help.
“Wow. Our Si-hu already wants to learn the difficult things that older siblings are studying? So smart and impressive!”
But something strange happened during this process. The Childcare Teachers treated me like a genius just because I wanted to learn ahead on my own.
‘Genius. Quite a nice label.’
Words like gifted or genius easily attract attention and are like titles awarded to a select few. Some even romanticize that term.
So I began to take that label for myself.
After all, what others see is only the results.
They don’t notice the process, nor do they care.
The woman who was my mother taught me that fact deeply, and I applied that lesson perfectly.
In front of teachers and older students, I pretended to understand everything at once, while behind the scenes, I reduced my sleep and worked desperately to comprehend.
If I didn’t understand, I memorized everything in one go.
What matters here is not the process but the answer, the result.
Ultimately, how others evaluate me is based solely on the value I intentionally reveal.
“Did you get all of them right again? Really amazing! It looks like Si-hu is going to be a great person when he grows up.”
“A great person?”
“Yes. Someone extraordinary from books or on TV. Our Si-hu is a genius, so he’ll become famous in the future…”
And so, at some point, I became special, known as a ‘genius.’
“Teacher Hyemin, there you are! I’ve been looking for you. We’re short-staffed, so please come help… Oh, hello Si-hu? Ah~ you were studying with Teacher Hyemin?”
“Hello.”
“Oh my! Our Si-hu greets so well. I’m sorry to interrupt your studying, but Teacher Hyemin has something to do, so is it okay for you to study alone for a bit?”
“Yes, I just finished.”
“Good, good. Our Si-hu is so mature. Teacher Hyemin, please bring the remaining props for the play from the warehouse to the auditorium. I have to go do something else, so I’ll head out. Got it? See you later, Si-hu.”
The Childcare Teacher, with sparse white hair, instructed Teacher Hyemin and left.
Since I started being called a genius, she treated me kindly until the moment she left.
“Si-hu, I have to go now because the teacher has things to do. Shall we continue tomorrow?”
“Okay. But do you have a busy schedule?”
“Oh, I haven’t told you yet? We’re going to do a play on Christmas Eve. Guests will be visiting, so you’ll need to show them your wonderful self, right?”
That Christmas Eve when I turned seven.
The play held at the childcare center and the guests who visited at the time.
Due to those events and choices, my life was about to change completely again.
