The puppy was cute. I thought I could be friends with it.
Well, I killed it with my own hands.
I don’t even know what I’m talking about.
Why would I kill a puppy?
It was a bit big to be called a puppy, though.
Still, it trusted me and followed me.
Blood is splattered on my hands.
The corpse is disappearing as if it evaporated.
Did I kill it?
I don’t know why I had to do that.
It’s a monster, but it didn’t attack and was good-natured.
What if what was resting on my knee had been a person instead of a monster?
Would I have stabbed and killed them the same way?
If someone tells me to kill, don’t I have to do it?
I didn’t want to kill, though.
Then, it’s a problem if they’re in front of me, friend or not.
This is not good.
“…Ugh…”
On top of that, I keep thinking about the time I was stabbed for no reason.
Still, it’s at a level I can endure.
I felt a surge of emotions but I held back.
I’m fine with this much.
“Ugh.”
This much doesn’t cause any problems at all.
You think I can’t endure this?
Killing an animal is no big deal.
[13 hours 45 minutes]
The medication still has a lot of effect left.
I don’t feel particularly unpleasant about it.
Actually, that part is a problem too, to be honest.
“I just killed a monster, good job.”
Lee Yoo-Ram says.
From his eyes, the puppy seemed a bit fierce.
“Do you see anything?”
“See what?”
“If you level up or anything like that; usually when you kill a monster, you get stronger. Some need to meet specific conditions to get stronger, but…”
Level up.
I wonder if killing all the time makes one stronger.
I don’t know how many monsters Han Si-Hoo killed.
The protagonist was already strong before entering the Academy.
That’s why they are the protagonist.
I think he leveled up too, though.
What method did he use?
“Still, having worked as a teacher for a while, I can get a general feeling. I know what makes them grow.”
“Is that so?”
Growth.
It sounds nice.
“You must have something too. Though it’s a drug that enhances your abilities…”
Then I just need to use more drugs.
As Lee Yoo-Ram said himself.
That’s how it is.
“Next is three monsters.”
“Three?”
“Typically, the first practical training at the Academy goes like this. If you hunt ten wolves, then depending on your abilities, it might be bear-type monsters… Anyway. Begin.”
With a snap of his fingers, three wolves are summoned.
They are bigger than the one I killed earlier.
I should take this seriously.
Yeah, take it seriously.
It’s about properly fighting.
Isn’t that how protagonists fight?
I can’t, though.
They don’t bark and just seem like harmless dogs.
They don’t approach me either.
Even the most savage of humans wouldn’t attack creatures like this.
But if ordered from the other side, I guess I have to do it.
It hurts my heart, but it can’t be helped.
Still, should I try to resist once?
I want to confirm if I can withstand it even after hearing orders.
“Now, those three attack.”
There’s no need to attack right away.
They didn’t say when to attack.
Flump.
Crack.
Has it been about three seconds?
I killed them brutally.
This is a power I can’t control.
Looking back, there’s nothing in my life that I can control.
If I wanted to control, I shouldn’t have taken the drug.
[9 hours 58 minutes]
Using drugs wasn’t exactly my will, though.
If it hurts, it’s right to take medicine, right?
“Five monsters.”
This time, I try to stop.
Lee Yoo-Ram isn’t very interested in what I do.
He knows I’m going to attack anyway.
The wolves still don’t attempt to attack me.
“More? Wouldn’t this much be okay?”
“Sorry, but I need to submit the measurement data. Attack.”
Woosh, thud.
The elongated blade pierces through the wolves.
It seems I’ve gotten stronger.
Certainly stronger than when I fought Han Si-Hoo last time.
“Next is ten monsters.”
Not good.
I feel bad.
[5 hours 56 minutes]
“Wait, stop.”
It’s not about the wolves being pitiful or not.
Fighting this way is too inefficient.
Just generating and elongating the weapon eats away dramatically at the drug’s effect.
“It’s just a monster. If you really want to become a student of the Academy, it’s better to endure.”
Endure?
What exactly?
Is it the time running out?
“Not that, the drug.”
“Now, attack.”
“So that’s it.”
Crack, thud.
A huge sword piercing through all ten wolves.
To be exact, it pierced through seven.
The rest couldn’t be killed because the sword disappeared.
[0]
“…It hurts.”
*
I couldn’t kill all ten wolves.
There’s no way, I smashed each one down considerably.
There’s no way I couldn’t capture all ten.
Lee Yoo-Ram finally checks Yoo Seo-Ah’s state.
Did she just say she’s in pain?
She was the one who said it didn’t hurt when she stabbed herself.
Something feels wrong.
My knee buckles, and I collapse to the floor.
I need medication.
The wolves charge.
“Oh no.”
Since the drug’s effect has worn off, my affinity disappears.
Still, this level of monsters can be handled by Lee Yoo-Ram alone.
Plus, this is the training ground.
With just a snap of my fingers, the monsters will return to where they came from.
“The drug’s effect wears off faster than I thought. If this continues, I won’t be able to fight for long.”
I take out a drug from my bag.
And then a syringe.
There’s no need to unwrap the bandage.
The needle is designed to pierce right through thin clothing.
Stab.
After a bit, Yoo Seo-Ah regains her senses.
“Are you okay? Sorry, I should’ve used the drug on time.”
Her eyes lack focus.
She’s trembling.
“Oh.”
She opens her mouth.
“Doctor.”
“Seo-Ah?”
Lee Yoo-Ram is taken aback.
She seems to be out of her mind.
Searching for a doctor but doesn’t realize that the doctor is Lee Yoo-Ram.
“A bug instead of a joint.”
It seems she’s seeing hallucinations.
It’s just a temporary phenomenon.
I’ll just observe her without panicking.
I help Yoo Seo-Ah sit on a chair.
“My muscles are melting away.”
She murmurs to herself.
She’s not in a state that can be calmed down.
I have to stab her with another drug.
She probably won’t live long anyway.
She truly looks like she’s in pain.
And she is.
The guilt that had been suppressed begins to rise.
“I told you to run away, didn’t I?”
I mumble, but it doesn’t seem Yoo Seo-Ah heard me.
It seems she’s seeing hallucinations.
Stab.
Two tranquillizers.
With this much, whatever it is will calm down.
Yoo Seo-Ah is definitely calming down.
It seems the hallucinations have also ceased.
“…It hurts.”
She looks like a sulking child.
There are traces of tears and drool on her face.
She looks exhausted.
In fact, this state is closer to normal.
It’s better than smiling while on medication.
“Now… I want to stop taking the drugs.”
But there’s no way to stop.
This is what happens when the addiction to the medication starts to fade.
“It’s just temporary. Rest for a bit.”
I don’t even know how many drugs I’ve used just this morning.
When I think about it, it’s too much.
With a seemingly fine appearance and a ridiculous smile.
I’ve used too much medication.
No, I held on pretty well.
The mistake was not calculating the drug’s effects.
In the end, I concluded I should just use more drugs.
If I look at the opponent as not a patient but as a combatant, then so be it.
“Combat is on hold. There seem to be many problems.”
Now that I know the existence of affinity, it’s a sufficient achievement.
Combat is just a secondary issue.
“I want to go home.”
Yoo Seo-Ah gazes at the floor.
She wants to go home.
It’s clear she wants to return to the past.
“I’m sorry.”
In the end, an apology pops out.
“But… I have my reasons too. I’m not doing this because I want to.”
I was soothing myself with such a pathetic excuse.
It’s a path she chose; it’s a good thing for both her and Han Si-Hoo.
That’s just an excuse.
But there is a reason.
There must be a reason for even doing such things.
To fulfill my role as a teacher at the Academy.
Why must I do that?
“I also lost family… right, I’m sorry. Just like you have Si-Hoo. Just like how you’re entangled with Si-Hoo, I…”
Now that I know why the Academy trusts Lee Yoo-Ram with tasks, the answer reveals itself.
That’s because they have confidence in completely controlling Lee Yoo-Ram.
To make him do uncomfortable tasks, they need to hold onto weaknesses.
“I lost family because of monsters. What’s the point of being a doctor and an awakened healer when I couldn’t save my family?”
The source of the hatred towards monsters.
The thirst for revenge.
That’s why I thought Yoo Seo-Ah would understand as well.
The affinity is truly beyond expectation.
I pushed her to attack, sure that even a hint of sympathy for the monsters would be shown, but that was definitely a mistake.
“Family. Yet, I still have one alive.”
I have one younger sister.
A younger sister who is still alive.
A child I have no way to save without the Academy’s support.
That’s why I’m captured by the Academy, but I don’t care.
As long as I can save my sister.
“Yes. I have a younger sister who survived. She’s my only family.”
It seems to overlap a bit.
Yoo Seo-Ah and Lee Yoo-Ram’s younger sister.
But if I had to give one up, it would naturally be Yoo Seo-Ah.
“That’s good to hear.”
Yoo Seo-Ah replies with a bright smile.
I didn’t think about saying that.
I just wanted to let out a little of what was bottled inside.
Taking advantage of her being under the influence of the drug.
If she smiles like that, what does that make me?
Lee Yoo-Ram stares at Yoo Seo-Ah blankly.
“Having family is nice, after all.”
That’s true.
When anyone has something to rely on, their mind becomes at ease.
Even if it’s not reliance, it just looks like something to protect.
Having family gives a sense of security.
Who could Yoo Seo-Ah’s family be?
Probably Han Si-Hoo.
If I were to find Han Si-Hoo’s family, it would be Yoo Seo-Ah.
Lee Yoo-Ram himself didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s family.
Yeah, that’s why he gave her a chance.
To tell her to run away.
I’ll do my best to help her.
“Even if I don’t have family, I do have friends… But I usually only receive…”
Yoo Seo-Ah continues her words.
“One day, I’ll be able to help you…”
I think she can help at least once.
If she becomes strong enough, that is.
Family is precious.
To everyone.
