The crazy Ear Goblin Lucian came to bother me every hour.
Before morning classes, too.
“Have you changed your mind, Hyeji Kim!!”
Even when I briefly stopped by the snack bar.
“You’re going to be mine anyway, so just stop pretending!”
When class ended.
“I shall grant you whatever you desire.”
When moving to lunch.
“Did I come to meet you in person just for you to ignore me?”
Even during practical training.
“Are you saying this idiot Short-lived Race kid is to your liking? I can’t understand it.”
At the end of the practical training.
“Are you placing this inferior Short-lived Race in comparison with me?”
Even suddenly during additional self-study time.
“Looks, wealth, background—none of them are better than me, and even your junk is pathetic.”
“That last part isn’t true, you f*cking bastard.”
Provoked by his last words, I exploded and stood up.
Then Lucian started laughing at me.
“Hmph! You’ll find out soon enough. Come out. Show me just how inferior you are.”
Lucian gestured at the group of female students.
At the same time, the number above Lucian’s head increased by one.
What does ‘Juji’ mean for a man?
It’s a trivial yet precious companion in life, as valuable as life itself.
How could it not be—historically, cups for protecting the family jewels were made before helmets.
That’s how precious it is.
It’s a sensitive topic that even best friends don’t compare.
But the Ear Goblin before me dared to challenge my Juji fighting.
This can’t end in defeat.
‘Even if I lose everything, I can’t lose to this Ear Goblin. F*ck.’
At that moment, a rabbit beastkin female student stepped forward.
Shortly after, the girl’s gaze fixed below my waist.
A moment passed.
Suddenly, the girl opened her mouth, turning red.
She looked rather shocked.
Soon after, she shifted her gaze to Lucian’s lower body.
Suddenly, the beastkin girl’s expression darkened.
She seemed to have some sort of clairvoyance ability.
But thankfully.
Given her reaction, I could tell who was the winner.
‘I won, you filthy Ear Goblin.’
I smiled at the sight.
Lucian looked puzzled as his expected reaction didn’t emerge.
“What’s wrong? Why the silence?”
Finally, the red number above Lucian’s head went up by one.
He must have experienced a different future than this one.
Ignoring the gradually fading confident look on Lucian’s face, the female students started whispering to each other.
Suddenly, a few of them cast strange glances at me.
Even though they couldn’t believe it, their overt lewdness was palpable.
Soon after, the female students began to make rather odd moves.
They spread their palms and placed them on different areas of their bodies.
One hand near the groin. The other hand below the sternum.
In this state, they started alternating their gaze between their lower body and the placement of their hands.
‘Thanks, but you girls are being way too obvious.’
It wasn’t really a good look for their emotional well-being.
Worried that Hyeji and Kyoukyou might learn something strange, I shifted my gaze.
“…Hyeji? Why are you copying that?”
“Uh? Ah, no!!! Just ignore it!!!”
Hyeji was following along exactly.
Kyoukyou, watching this scene, started to giggle.
“Your hardware far exceeds your intelligence, lol.”
Hyeji’s face turned quite red.
A mix of embarrassment and slight fear.
Only then did Lucian realize the atmosphere wasn’t going as he desired and turned towards the female students.
A few approached him, whispering softly before leaving again.
Suddenly, silence fell upon Lucian’s group.
Then Kyoukyou started teasing Lucian, pointing at him.
“Eluh is smaller than a Japanese Imperial soldier, lol.”
Lucian’s expression fell in an instant.
He quickly ran out of the classroom as if escaping.
That day, the Ear Goblin didn’t show up anymore.
*
The day before midterms.
Before the Ear Goblin could arrive, Hyeji, looking exhausted, greeted me.
Without realizing it, I had become close friends with Kyoukyou, who was beaming beside her.
“Hyeji? Why do you look like a zombie?”
“Fck! I couldn’t sleep because of that Ear Goblin bastard. Those btches are infuriating.”
“Did that bastard go to the girls’ dorm too?”
“No, it’s those f*cking Horny Ones.”
“Those little perverts can’t behave!!!”
Kyoukyou erupted in agreement as she shared Hyeji’s frustrations.
Upon closer examination, Kyoukyou’s eyes were definitely dark as well.
They likely had spent the night together at Hyeji’s place.
“Are those girls crazy? Why do they keep waking us up at night?”
“Can’t you just beat them up?”
“Those are some nasty trolls. F*ck, should I just designate that Ear Goblin as a midterm target and bash him?”
“Have you sought external help?”
At this, Hyeji let out a big sigh.
“That bastard’s a High Elf, so even the professors are being hush-hush about it.”
“F*ckers are utterly useless.”
“My dad also finds it quite problematic to get involved. Should I just kill them all?”
“Unbelievable!!! In a democratic Japan, I won’t tolerate tyranny!!!”
“…Kyoukyou, your country is practically a feudal system.”
“Eh? Really?”
I calmed the shocked Kyoukyou down and continued the conversation.
“Hyeji, you know what? The only good Ear Goblin is a dead Ear Goblin.”
“That’s right. The two things I hate most in this world are racial discrimination and Ear Goblins.”
“I bet that bastard will keep whining even if I crush him during the midterms.”
As expected, the swarm of Ear Goblins and female students came pouring in.
At that moment, someone appeared behind Lucian’s group.
Professor Pilyong.
He was likely checking on who to designate for the midterm practical.
The timing couldn’t have been better.
A good plan came to mind.
Without hesitation, I raised my hand to call Professor Pilyong.
“Professor.”
“Shinwoo? What is it?”
“Can we now specify the opponent for the midterm practical?”
“Who are you thinking of? You can win against just about anyone.”
“That Ear Goblin bastard.”
As I said this while pointing at Lucian, he laughed derisively.
“Hah! You think that because I show you some leeway, you don’t know your place and come crawling up?”
“…Shinwoo, are you really going to challenge Lucianer?”
Professor Pilyong asked seriously.
Receiving his gaze only made me make a bigger suggestion.
“Yes, and since we’re at it, please call the oath mediator too. I want to make a pact with that bastard.”
“Why would I want to make some stupid pact with a Short-lived Race!”
“Are you scared?”
“Who the hell is scared!!!”
Lucian’s reaction was as expected.
Bastards with pride don’t take being called scared lightly.
Even our big brother reacted violently to that.
“When you get scared, you die~. You cowardly bastard~.”
“You better hurry with that statement!! I’ll make you regret it!!!”
“Same goes for me, you f*cking bastard.”
“I see. Let me fetch the oath mediator, so let’s meet back here in ten minutes.”
As soon as Professor Pilyong’s words ended, Lucian dashed out of the classroom.
And ten minutes later.
The classroom was buzzing with people.
Kyoukyou. Hyeji and me. The Adaks eagerly watching. Professor Pilyong. Lucian and the female students, and finally the oath mediator.
At that very moment, Lucian appeared, looking slightly haggard.
“That bastard just had sex, didn’t he?”
“That’s right! Jealous?”
More than jealousy…
“You premature bastard.”
“……”
How pathetic.
Suddenly, Lucian seemed at a loss for words.
Leaving the silent Lucian behind, I turned to the oath mediator.
“Excuse me, oath mediator, could you please proceed with the mutual oath?”
“Yes, understood.”
The mutual oath involves both parties presenting commitments that they must fulfill.
A crucial aspect of this process is the presence of the oath mediator.
The mediator ensures that there is no noise during the oath process.
Putting it simply, an oath is a type of contract.
And an oath mediator acts as both a broker and a notary.
Of course, it can’t always be enforced and the conditions can be somewhat strict.
Only when there is a clear winner and loser between the two can it be possible.
The price each party pays for breaking the oath needs to be equally fair.
The oath mediator then turned to me.
“What would you like to request, Shinwoo?”
“I’ll keep it confidential. Only reveal it when that bastard needs to fulfill the oath.”
“You wish for it to be revealed upon your victory? Please write your request here.”
“Thank you.”
The oath mediator handed me a piece of paper.
I wrote carefully so that others wouldn’t see.
While I filled in the paper, the oath mediator turned to Lucian.
“What request will Lucianer be making?”
“Hmph! I’ll wager that the girl named Hyeji belongs to me, Lucianer!”
“Received.”
The mediator wrote down Lucian’s request on a piece of paper identical to mine.
By then, I also finished writing my request.
Handing the paper with my request to the mediator, I said, “Here it is.”
“I won’t look at it, but please note: requests that are physically impossible cannot be enforced, so be careful.”
“Understood.”
The mediator folded both papers neatly.
Then, looking between me and Lucian, he spoke.
“What will be the price if the oaths are not fulfilled?”
Then Lucian slammed his desk and glared at me.
Immediately, he started grinning mischievously.
“Whatever you propose! If you’re scared, now’s your chance to back out!”
“Just a neck, you f*cking Ear Goblin.”
“Good! Go ahead and propose anything! I’ll accept!”
At this, the mediator’s expression changed slightly.
From a neutral face to one mixed with awkwardness and curiosity.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen such a heated dispute.”
Meanwhile, Lucian was smiling wide.
It seemed he thought he had already won.
“You loser or dead; that girl is mine now!”
“This bastard is already acting like he’s won. Seriously going to get hit.”
“Thank you both. Now could you please give me your hands? It’ll sting a little.”
A slight sting shot through my fingertips.
The mediator carefully collected the small amount of blood that flowed from the resulting wounds.
“It’ll take about 10 minutes to process this. Please wait a moment.”
The reason for needing the mediator is exactly at this stage.
The mediator processes the collected 5mL of blood from both parties using magic.
Then, they reintroduce the processed blood back to each person’s body to circulate it again.
Only when a brand unique to the mediator appears near the heart does the oath get finalized.
You can think of it as putting on shackles.
If the oath isn’t fulfilled and the price isn’t paid, the losing party will die from this chain.
In a particularly painful manner.
Just then, it seemed the processing was done, and the mediator spoke to us.
“The processing is complete. Please bring your wounds back for a moment.”
To a casual observer, the blood seemed pretty much the same as when it was collected.
However, there were two strange things.
Despite having passed 10 minutes, there was no sign of it drying and it looked extremely fresh.
And the fact that it maintained a spherical shape atop the paper containing our requests.
I held my wound to the sphere of blood.
Suddenly, blood flowed back into my body through the wound.
It felt like it was my blood, but also somewhat different.
I could sense it moving from my hand to my heart, and then all over my body.
Finally, a sense of foreignness appeared around my heart before it abruptly vanished.
Simultaneously, the mediator’s brand floated above my chest.
A heart tattoo would suffice.
At least it wasn’t a tattoo on my womb or prostate.
As the symbol appeared on my chest, the mediator began to bow to us.
His role as the mediator was now complete.
“Everything is done. Thank you for using our service.”
“Thank you, oath mediator.”
“Enjoy yourselves until you kick the bucket!”
After the mediator left, the Ear Goblin group followed suit.
Professor Pilyong proceeded to recruit hopeful candidates to designate their opponents for the midterm practical.
Once he left, Hyeji approached me with a worried look.
“Shinwoo, can you really win?”
“Who knows?”
Hyeji made a face as though looking at an idiot.
“What the f*ck were you thinking picking that?”
“But, O-ne-chan… if I don’t, that bastard will keep being a pain…”
“Don’t insult the language of the Empire of Japan!!!!”
Kyoukyou expressed her furious sentiments.
Hyeji sighed and grabbed her head in despair.
“Shinwoo, what do you plan to make him do if you win?”
“That’s a secret.”
Hyeji suddenly looked at me with eager eyes.
“Are you perhaps claiming me as your property?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“When I say this, you should at least say yes as a joke!!!”
Hyeji and Kyoukyou started to unleash their frustrations on me.
It took a little while for their anger to subside.
*
The theory exam of the midterm held in the morning ended quite simply.
Honestly, it felt utterly irrelevant compared to the upcoming practical.
Of course, it wasn’t straightforward.
Here’s a simple example.
Q. When a monster appears, whom should you save first: your mom or your girlfriend?
What a ridiculous question.
Even subjective.
‘Isn’t it only polite to first ask if the guy has a girlfriend, you bastards?’
I had learned about Lucian’s abilities through a wiki beforehand.
However, there was one problem.
His ability was terribly tricky.
‘Even considering the High Elf’s elevated capabilities, an A-grade isn’t just for decoration.’
First, he handles spirits.
It was a wind-type spirit and was generally one that released wind from its hands.
His capabilities involved promoting plant growth and ability to control them according to his will.
He could freely manipulate up to four plants regardless of type or size.
‘I trust you, wiki.’
While the abilities can vary drastically with the location.
However, it also means he could utilize his powers in an area where plants grow naturally.
Coincidentally, the location of the midterm practical is randomly selected, unlike previous training.
A desert. A city. Normally, if it’s a place without vegetation, I can freely smack him around.
But if it’s a forest or jungle, things would get dire.
‘Please, just not a place with plants. F*ck.’
Lastly, I checked my armament.
This time, I was prepared to the maximum.
I had four hand axes at my waist. Eight daggers strapped to my body.
Steel gauntlets on both hands. A semi-automatic shotgun in my left hand and a longsword in my right.
And lastly, the Defensive Coat received from Uncle Ryu Kang-hyuk.
‘I didn’t want to wear this, but I feel like I won’t win if I don’t.’
Currently, I was waiting for Hyeji.
To receive my last armament, the incendiary grenades.
Within minutes, Hyeji appeared.
She came with a belt containing twelve incendiary grenades and wrapped it around my waist herself.
“Shinwoo, you must absolutely win.”
“I’ll try to win somehow.”
Hyeji’s gaze dimmed slightly.
“If you lose, I’ll kill myself.”
“Hey, why so suddenly about suicide?”
“I’ll kill myself alongside you.”
“Damn, talk about a murder-suicide here.”
Just then, the preparations for the grenades were complete.
Hyeji gave me a worried look and cautiously asked.
“…You can win, right?”
I turned my foot and began to move towards the sparring ground.
Turning my head slightly back to Hyeji, I smiled.
“I’ll crush it.”
With that, I distanced myself from Hyeji.
Hyeji stared at my retreating figure, mumbling.
“You idiot, usually when you say that, it means you’re the one getting crushed.”
*
As a rule, betting is prohibited during the midterm practical.
Academy policy dictates that financial desires should be kept at bay during examinations.
No matter how you look at it, it’s contradictory.
If that’s the case, why not create an academy that doesn’t need money at all?
Letting people bet freely and then banning it during important times shouldn’t have to work.
However, for the desperate bettors at the brink, there exists a sliver of hope.
It’s a brief voting process that occurs right after the theory examination ends and before the practical begins.
This voting is simple.
All students not involved in the exam will vote on which practical they will watch.
For one selected practical that receives the highest votes, they can legally bet.
And the results of the voting are…
“You came here all decked out for nothing.”
Determined, it’s now going to be the practical duel between Lucian and me.
As I saw Lucian waiting for me, he started spouting off the moment he laid eyes on me.
I ignored Lucian’s words and scanned his figure.
Once again, he wore cumbersome attire that was inconvenient to move in.
When observing his physique and attire, he appeared to be far from the physical combat type.
Meanwhile, the moment I entered the sparring area, I heard the sounds of delirious bettors.
“This time it’s really a sure thing. I believe in our Elf.”
“Are the underdogs still around? This time it’s A Asphalt! B Bitcoin, C Crit are all dead!!”
“Kill Nathan Maia!!!!!”
“That’s not this novel. Dumbass.”
“Is this not a sure win?”
“Adak and Gold cannot even move the cue together! Is there anyone who would bet against that?”
At this point, the hype should have calmed down but it didn’t die down.
Of course, there were rare occasions of getting overly heated.
“Candidate number one, Lucian!!!! I believe in you!!!!”
[Students breaking the election law. Come out now.]
In this manner.
Just recently, after an update to the academy app, betting has become possible through it.
Although there are minor bugs, it’s vastly better than the previous manual method.
As a result, everyone was dawned with their phones like they were betting tickets.
Naturally, even the students are experiencing this betting culture as certain restrictions on the app were loosened.
At that moment, I spotted Hyeji, Kyoukyou, and the older sister Yerim nearby.
“Shinwoo! I’ve placed my entire fortune on you, so you absolutely cannot lose!”
“Shinwoo-chan!!!! The love of all the girls shall be slaughtered by you!!!!”
“Shinwoo, this is the funds for my marriage with Ryu Kang-hyuk! You must win so we can get married!!!”
Waving to them, I greeted them and surveyed the stands.
It seems with Lucian being a High Elf, there were a lot of crazily excited elves present.
‘That bastard seems to have some supporters too.’
I focused a bit and listened to the elves’ banter.
All I heard being hurled at me were curses and insults.
As I suspected, my thoughts weren’t wrong.
From today onward, the only good Ear Goblins are dead ones.
There are no bad dogs in this world, but bad Ear Goblins do exist.
Just then, the sparring ground’s system began to activate.
I started praying fervently.
At this moment, I wanted to rely on a religion I didn’t even believe in.
‘Please, f*ck, a place without plants. A place without plants. A place without plants.’
But there was no god.
The designated sparring location was the worst place: a clearing in the forest.
In the end, I would have to fight with the Ear Goblin’s ability maximized.
The onlookers cheered even louder after seeing this.
‘Shit, why is nothing ever going my way?’
Lucian, too, wasn’t hiding his joy in the slightest.
He pointed at me and began to laugh madly.
“Ahahaha! The victory is already secured!”
“Do you think you can say that with lead in your head?”
“Come and struggle! No matter what you do, you’re going to die in agony!”
Now, as for the audience, there’s the one who just shouted Nathan Maia.
Um, Nathan.
We don’t share the same last name, but we both belong to the same serialization platform, so let me borrow some lines.
“That will never happen, Ear Goblin.”
I drew my sword stuck in the ground.
I hefted the sword over my shoulder and spoke again.
“No matter what happens, I will not die.”
Pointing the sword at Lucian.
Finally, I gave him a grim smile.
“I won’t give you the satisfaction, Ear Goblin.”
With those words, the cheers from the supporters surged even louder.
Most of the voices came from the elves, of course.
Then Kyoukyou’s anger escalated into even harsher words.
“Those damn Ear Goblins deserve to be sent to a gas chamber!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Well said, Kyoukyou.
You too have the blood of the Axis Powers flowing through you.
