〈 Episode 265 〉 If You Don’t Know, Let’s Make Searching a Habit.
*
After quite a long walk guided by the Holy Knights.
I finally arrived at the cathedral.
The emotion I felt upon seeing the cathedral was one.
[It seems like there’s a suspiciously rich fairy here.］
‘Did all of that get built with tithes, f*ck?’
It must be expensive.
It looked far from the biblical teaching that avoids greed for money.
I’m not an art expert, but I thought the design of the building was quite beautiful as soon as I laid eyes on it.
Moreover, everything I could see was golden, making me wonder if it was truly made of gold.
As soon as I saw that, I rushed toward the cathedral.
In my uncontrollable impulse, I slammed against the cathedral wall without thinking.
The Holy Knight Deputy Commander, seeing my actions, yelled at me.
Because.
“Hey, wait a minute! What are you doing!”
Crunch! Crunch!
I was biting into the golden wall right then.
‘I’m sinking my teeth in. This is real gold.’
[You should bite higher up. If you’re lucky, you could take a chunk out of it.］
Following the Piece’s advice, I changed the part I was biting, and easily got some gold to break off.
The moment I started gathering the fallen gold, a voice with a hint of irritation echoed.
“Stop it!!!”
I was acting according to what I learned from Choco Hyung when the Deputy Commander stopped me.
I quickly composed myself and apologized to the Deputy Commander.
“I’m sorry. I have symptoms of obsession due to human disease.”
“Surely beastmen don’t act like that. To think you’re not any worse even with a human disease. Impressive.”
“I’m sorry, and thank you.”
The Deputy Commander believed whole-heartedly that it was called human disease.
It felt like common sense was a bit off somewhere.
As I returned to the heroines, they quickly spoke up.
“Shinwoo, is it really gold?”
“Yeah, it got stuck in my teeth. I’ll sell it later.”
“F*ck! I want to bite too! How much is all that worth?”
“Elcia, I’ll melt it down later using the power of the spirit of fire Undine, so hold off for now!”
[The spirit of fire! You ruined Ayeon!］
‘He’s just adapting to the times, isn’t he?’
As if knowing we were coming, the grand doors of the cathedral opened with no one around.
I wondered if it was an automatic door, but I stepped inside the cathedral, maintaining my indifference.
The interior of the cathedral was even more dazzling, fitting its splendid exterior.
If the outside was simply gold-colored, here it was decorated with extravagant jewels.
It was a bit annoying that most of the decorations were cats, but hey, that’s all money.
I promised myself to gather them later.
Meanwhile, as Hyeji and Ayeon desperately tried to stop Elcia from losing her senses and running away.
The Deputy Commander stepped closer to us.
“I will personally guide you from now on.”
“Thank you.”
“Everyone, proceed with today’s tasks!”
With that, the Holy Knights all rushed toward one location.
They appeared to be running with cheers, and I wondered if they were going to get some Choco Pie.
I thought the Deputy Commander would follow suit, but he seemed to suppress the impulse with some difficulty.
[If the author follows, wouldn’t it be harder to find Caressy?］
‘Not at all. I’m grateful for it.’
The Deputy Commander personally guiding us meant we couldn’t act freely.
But at the same time, it was a way to know Caressy’s exact location.
“Follow me, pilgrims!”
“Yes, understood.”
Just then, I heard the sound of the cathedral doors closing behind us, and tranquility descended in an instant.
We carefully moved alongside the Deputy Commander while examining our surroundings.
I could faintly hear hymns, yet there was not a single person passing by.
It was probably the worship hour at the cathedral.
It was an excellent opportunity for me; however, just in case, I decided to confirm again.
“Holy Knight, there’s no one around. Is there something happening?”
“Ah. Right now, it happens to be the holy communion time. People participate after giving their tithes, but no one wants to miss this hour.”
I realized that a strange sound gradually emerged between the hymns.
The Deputy Commander stared off into space, lost in thought.
“At such times, I envy the brothers. They can attend right away.”
I almost burst into anger at that irritating remark, but I barely held back by biting my lips.
Then the Deputy Commander misinterpreted my action and quickly added,
“But don’t worry! The priests for your confession are always on standby.”
“……Is there really no one else around here?”
“That’s right. But there are plenty of priests, so you can each choose a name, so don’t fret.”
Most of the irritating knowledge was spot on, but at least I was assured that there was no one around.
The Deputy Commander looked restless, as if he knew what was about to happen.
“We should speed up our steps. I might miss Aces the Priest otherwise—”
Whack!!!
Before he could finish his words, I quickly kicked the back of his knee.
Caught off guard, the Deputy Commander teetered backward, losing his balance.
I grabbed the nape of his neck and roughly slammed him downwards.
Thud!!!
“Cough!”
I immediately stomped on the Deputy Commander’s back and grabbed his arm with my left hand.
With a little more pressure, it felt like it could snap at any moment.
The Deputy Commander looked confused, filled with questions.
“…Pilgrim? What’s this sudden—”
“Hey.”
Bang!!!!
I interrupted him by stomping down hard on his back once more.
All the air in the Deputy Commander’s lungs escaped, leaving only his fading breath audible.
To the Deputy Commander, who wasn’t even allowed a single breath.
I grinned ominously and stated my business.
“Where’s that fcking btch Kyaru?”
The Deputy Commander was still wearing an expression of utter confusion.
So I refined my query a bit more precisely.
“Where’s your saintess, Caressy, you sh*t?”
“Don’t tell me you were a believer of the Mother Church! Looking for that wicked girl!”
“Well, the Demonic Society is definitely accurate.”
The Deputy Commander’s face twisted as he finally understood the situation.
I responded by deepening my grin compared to before.
“Shut up and speak quickly.”
“I don’t know!”
However, the Deputy Commander flat-out rejected my question.
Still clueless about the situation, I twisted his arm further.
But all he did was groan a bit, even managing to smile.
“Cough! To unreservedly touch with sentimentality! How delightful!”
“Are you really not going to talk? Just tell me already.”
“Unless I want to, it’s definitely ‘I don’t know!’ That’s it!”
Even after I almost broke his arm, the answer remained the same: ‘I don’t know.’
[Are you truly ignorant? What do you intend to do?］
‘I guess I’ll have to search for answers.’
I can understand if he genuinely doesn’t know something.
We all have many things we don’t know while living in modern society, after all.
But just saying ‘I don’t know’ isn’t a way to navigate through a crisis.
To get out of such a situation, using a search engine is essential.
A typical example could be Google.
Meanwhile, the Deputy Commander showed no reaction.
He even looked at me with ridicule.
“Go ahead and try all you want! It’s actually feeling pleasurable now!”
“So you really just don’t know?”
“That’s right! No matter what you say, I don’t know!”
“If you don’t know, does your military life end here?”
In response, I smiled wider.
“If you don’t know, you should find out.”
“……What?”
However, the search engine I was about to use was a bit outdated.
A globally renowned search engine, regardless of the country.
That would be.
Beep!!!
“AHHHHHH!!!!”
Geegle.
Even without me saying it, Ayeon summoned the spirit of fire, Undine, and started a flame.
Hyeji then heated a triangular-shaped branding iron and started branding the Deputy Commander.
Beep!!!
“Stop it!!! My fur! My fur is going to burn!!!”
Proving it really was an old-fashioned engine, the sound of the search engine was incredibly loud.
Plus, as the color of the cursor branding his back was still faint, the speed of the search results was suboptimal.
It seemed like some improvements were necessary.
“Overclock.”
Beep!!!!
“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Following my command, Hyeji this time started branding with a completely red-hot iron.
Seeing the cursor completely red indicated that the overclocking was successful.
It might eat away at the device’s lifespan, but the effect was undeniable.
“This is just f*cking torture!!!”
“You said you didn’t know. So I’m tutoring you.”
Plus, like I described before, it’s not all disadvantages.
For starters, it’s very easy to develop a GUI.
The proof was that the fur burned away where the iron was applied, leaving that area glistening.
[What on earth happened to you that there’s no middle ground!!!］
‘At least there’s well-done here.’
[F*ck.]
And one more merit.
Beep!!!!
“I’ll tell you! Just stop!!!”
Surprisingly, Ayeon and Elcia also brought out irons to start branding.
One developer is good, but three are better.
Yet, care must be taken.
Relying solely on one search engine is quite a risky affair.
To ensure robust results, it’d be wise to use another search engine for cross-verification.
This time, the search engine commonly used in court.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Stop hitting me!!!!”
That would be Bong.
I swung the mace made with magical power down on the Deputy Commander’s head, conducting cross-verification.
It rang out with a crystal-clear sound as if nothing was in his head.
The precise term is BupBong, but usually the ‘Bup’ is muted, so it’s simply referred to as Bong.
It requires a lot of the user’s stamina, which is a minor downside.
Therefore, it’s no longer commonly used, but it’s certainly effective for the presentation.
Most importantly, in this moment, it’s more accurate than Bing.
Yet even despite our cross-verification,
No proper results surfaced.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Beep!!!
“Brothers! Holy Spirit! Is there no one? Please help me!!!”
Instead, the Deputy Commander started using search engine help.
Yet no one answered that voice.
Only the Deputy Commander’s wails and the search engine sounds echoed hollowly.
“What, why…”
“Ah, that’s the obvious result.”
Soon despair gradually painted itself onto the Deputy Commander’s face.
Forgetting the pain he was feeling, he looked hopelessly bewildered.
I calmly opened my mouth to him.
“You need to pay the tax to send a message.”
“I never thought missing my tithes would come to this…”
Amidst the ongoing scene of searching, the Deputy Commander couldn’t even groan in pain.
Quietly, he murmured in a forlorn voice.
“Then I… can’t escape from here…”
It seemed that search engine help was utterly useless.
A replacement search engine seemed necessary.
Waving my hand, I introduced a new search engine to the Deputy Commander.
“Never.”
*
