Episode 481 – President, This Guy Is Laughing?
I understand perfectly.
Why the hell are we at a construction site instead of a casino?
What was all that nonsense about being a gambler just a moment ago?
We came to look at the gambling table, not at construction work!
But we couldn’t help it, so let’s rewind time a bit.
Under normal circumstances, we’d have gone to the casino and piled up a ton of chips.
But we gave up going to the casino due to the fierce objections of Caressy.
“Stop with the bullshit, you fckers!!!”
“I’m just trying to metaphorically invest like in the parable of talents!”
“If you keep rambling as a metaphor, I’ll turn you into a real-life Hyeji cat!”
“Got it.”
The wild look in her eyes genuinely made it seem like she was going to kill someone.
“Hey.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“Do you want to die?”
“…I’m sorry. I was just so angry…”
Of course, under Hyeji’s intense gaze, I quickly snapped back to reality, forgetting the concept.
“Let’s do this.”
“Yeah…”
Thanks to that, we decided to engage in a different activity.
While wandering around the casino area, contemplating what to do, Kyoukyou suddenly spoke up.
“Got any recommendations for something nearby, Kyoukyou?”
“How about experiencing getting hit by a teleporting truck? www”
Isekai truck.
“Isn’t that just getting hit by a car? Sounds painful!”
“If a cat bastard gets hit, it’s fine! www”
“Oh, then the saintess goes to heaven, so it’s all good!”
“Not even a corpse left, you fcking bastards.”
That was a remnant from the era when isekai stories were all the rage in Japan.
But hearing that word triggered another thought in my mind.
It reminded me of a drama about the youngest son of a wealthy family.
It was based on a popular web novel, but it was a trashy work that ended after just two episodes without a proper conclusion.
Fortunately, it was a parody drama, so it could be forgiven a little.
Though even as a parody, I have no intention of retracting the term ‘trash.’
Sure, being a parody allowed it to have plot holes and added ridiculous romance elements, but the rest was so beyond redemption that it couldn’t be masked by even the most clever parody.
It completely deleted parts deemed crucial from the original work.
It sent everyone to the river of the dead via truck drift, after all.
In the end, it wrapped up with a “Ah, fck, it was all a dream.” kind of cliché ending.
[But still, wasn’t the middle part from episodes 2 to 15 somewhat fun?]
“What are you talking about? This parody drama only has two episodes. Hahaha.”
[…How pitiful…]
Still, since it was a parody, it didn’t get completely torn apart and faded away quietly.
If it had been the real deal, it would have caused chaos everywhere.
There couldn’t possibly be such a fcking idiot in the world to label that as official.
Just that one word, ‘Isekai truck,’ tossed out by Kyoukyou made me start smiling uncontrollably.
“Hahaha… Let’s go to another world…”
Meanwhile, was my demeanor really that oddly amusing to everyone?
As everyone cautiously distanced themselves from me, Elcia spoke to Hyeji.
Using a slightly different address than her usual ‘older sister.’
“President, this guy is laughing?”
“Leave him. Looks like he’s having a nice dream.”
Of course, that was a very fitting title for the current situation.
Anyway, for the sake of my mental health, I decided to skip the ‘Isekai truck experience.’
Instead, we chose a place located right next to the casino.
That place was a completely open construction site, even though construction had stopped.
[Why is there a sign saying ‘We are open normally’?]
‘…This feels uneasy, fck…*’
To be honest, there was no reason for us to be in such an ambiguous and strange place.
But as soon as I heard Kyoukyou’s information, I decided to go out of spite.
Because at this very site, they were holding a festival-like competition.
“How about entering the brick carrying competition while we’re at it? www”
“What is that, Kyoukyou?”
A brick carrying competition.
As you might guess from the name, it had simple and straightforward rules.
One representative from each team would carry a pallet, while the rest of the team stacked as many bricks on it as possible.
The team with the most bricks when their representative reached the goal point wins.
If there’s a tie, the team that arrives earlier is declared the winner.
“Why the hell is this competition happening?”
“The workers are on strike, so it’s a festival event filled with idiots from the Academy that they threw together. www”
With that, we returned to the current situation.
According to the principle of majority decision, we selected Caressy as our team representative.
We stacked bricks as quickly as possible onto her pallet instead of chips.
With the heavy pallet full of bricks, Caressy began to run out with great effort.
[…Isn’t that going to break her back?]
‘If the spirit doesn’t break, it’ll be fine.’
Honestly, I was already confident in our victory the moment Caressy stepped up.
She was an anthropomorphic being with superior physical abilities compared to ordinary people.
Especially Caressy, who was on a whole different level.
Yet, even with a secured victory, we passionately cheered on Caressy.
In addition to the competition, we placed bets on who would arrive first.
Of course, we all bet our entire fortunes on Caressy finishing first.
Essentially, she was our Hunter mascot.
“Caressy, I bet on your churros too! You can’t lose!”
“Can’t you run faster, you cat bastard!”
“Why are you running on two feet as a cat?!”
“You have to win! I bet everything I earned today!”
“Seriously, I told you to keep it reasonable, you dog bastards!!!!”
Some might find this somewhat puzzling.
After all, it’s Caressy, who has exceptional physical abilities, so why worry about just beating regular people?
But the competition also had its own challengers.
Those challengers were none other than animals.
In the brick carrying competition, using machines was prohibited, but using animals was explicitly allowed.
Because of that, quite a few animals were running around carrying bricks.
[…Look, there’s a headless horse. Is it a Dullahan?]
‘Maybe they’re here looking for Kim Yushin.’
[Then that’s a self-driving Tesla-horse.]
No matter how well a person runs, they’re still just a person.
Since Caressy, being an anthropomorphic being, fell under the category of human, she had her limits.
Consequently, the distance between her and the trailing animals gradually but surely began to close.
“If you don’t want to die, get lost!!!!!!”
Even though Caressy yelled and tried to intimidate them, the pursuing animals actually sped up upon hearing her words.
As if her last desperate barks were somehow encouraging them to push forward.
“Just try losing! I’ll abandon you!”
“Neglecting cats in the Greater Japan Empire is a crime!”
However, contrary to our concerns, the animals were not able to overtake Caressy.
Of course, it’s because Caressy was running fast, managing not to drop any bricks.
But another factor was keeping the approaching animals at bay.
Or rather, it made them unable to even look up, kneeling right there in place.
“…My lord… that is…”
“…What the fck…”
That factor was none other than Hyeji.
Now that I look back, Hyeji had somehow made her way close to the finish line without me noticing.
She was shining her fierce gaze from beneath her hood at the animals running toward the finish line.
“I won’t say it twice.”
Of course, Hyeji doesn’t have a translator, so what came out of her mouth was simple Korean.
So the surrounding people and the running animals couldn’t understand the language.
“Don’t stand in my way.”
But even if they couldn’t understand the language, there’s no law saying the meaning wouldn’t get through.
Every living being has an instinct for survival, and that’s equally true for animals.
“Seriously.”
To be more precise, their instincts are often sharper and more keen than humans.
That’s why people felt the unease and distanced themselves, while the animals were on a whole different level.
“They will die.”
The animals were all whining behind Caressy, not able to step forward at all.
Precisely, they weren’t crossing the line just beyond Caressy’s heels.
As if that was the boundary between life and death.
Thanks to Hyeji’s reassuring presence, Caressy’s previously scrunched-up face brightened.
She was so overwhelmed with emotion that tears even welled up in her eyes.
“Truly, the only one I can rely on is Hyeji!”
As a result, Caressy was able to cross the finish line rather easily.
The moment she set down the pallet full of bricks beyond the finish line, she came charging toward us with all her might.
As we greeted her with enthusiastic cheers.
“Caressy! You’re the best!”
“Of course, you’re our King Cat!”
“Whoa there! www, we had faith in you! www”
“Why are you so riled up? It’s only natural to win.”
Caressy, in turn, eagerly responded to our cheers.
She hurled one of the bricks she had stolen at us.
“Shut your traps! I almost died!”
Of course, we weren’t weaklings who would fail to predict that, so we dodged it.
Thanks to that, the brick sliced through the air, landing in an empty space.
In the end, Caressy began to vent all her pent-up frustrations.
“Besides, didn’t you insult me just earlier, you fcking twig bastards!!!”
“Forgive us, Caressy. This is the last one.”
I pushed her forehead and calmed her down.
The wrap-up was a bit strange, but nonetheless, everything turned out fine.
We won the competition, and we gained a ton from being Hunter mascots.
“You guys are dog bastards.”
If only it wasn’t for the clumsy curse that unexpectedly rang out at the end.
