Rumble…
Countless sounds intersected, and a grand spectacle unfolded.
Thud thud thud…
The ground shook with the charge of four-legged beasts.
Flap flap flap…
Eagles and countless birds flapped their wings, covering the sky.
Rodents, snakes, and even cats darted between the giant bodies of beasts.
Growl growl…
As we approached countless deer, their monstrous roars grew even louder.
However, no one flinched; they accelerated even more.
Wham!
As soon as I got close enough, I struck the face of the lead deer, and the war began.
“Take that!!! You pests!!!”
Countless deer transitioned to bipedal movement, activating their front legs like a Wi-Fi signal.
Thud thud!
A very threatening sight.
Yet, the boars leading the charge unleashed a 108 Nahanjin formation and overwhelmed the deer with sheer mass.
Waaah!!!
Gwaaaah!!!
The atmosphere grew intense.
The birds secured air superiority and began attacking the deer from above.
The snakes, dodging the deer’s flashy canary steps, began biting their ankles.
Led by the black leopard, the feline animals were roughing up the deer with their agile movements and clawed cat punches.
Among such beasts, one stood out.
A small but the bravest black rat.
Scritch scritch…
The black rat began to dominate the battlefield.
It gnawed on the heads of the deer, jumping effortlessly from one to another.
It transcended the combat power of a mere rat.
With every attack, it was the very monster hunter itself.
“Go! Mickey Mou-”
“Shinwoo! Please shut up!”
“Master! Close that mouth!”
“Husband! Woo woo! That’s dangerous!”
[Hey! Please shut up! Aren’t you scared of the Disney legal team?]
‘-F*ck, that’s a bit intimidating.’
The desperate cries of my party echoed through the chaos.
It seemed the existence of this narrative was momentarily in jeopardy.
Meanwhile, the black rat had by now rendered five deer combat incapable.
Truly the ruler of the battlefield.
But what stood in the way of the brave black rat?
It was none other than the Martial Arts Deer.
Thud!
With yet another powerful attack, the Martial Arts Deer deflected the black rat’s strike with just one foreleg, effectively blocking any approach.
With a face full of contemptuous laughter.
Thwap!!!
“Nooooo!!! Nofia killed Disney!!”
[…Whether it’s Nofia or Disney, if the legal team contacts you, just accept it as ‘what was bound to happen.’]
With a short dying gasp, the black rat flew helplessly into the darkness.
To avenge that, I confronted the Martial Arts Deer.
In that moment, a heavy silence fell.
It wasn’t because the surrounding noise had stopped.
It was due to the tension from facing a formidable foe.
A brief standoff.
Then, as if we had signaled each other, we both kicked the ground and charged at one another.
Rush rush…
The distance between the Martial Arts Deer and me closed in an instant.
We entered each other’s attack range.
I prepared to throw a punch into its right side.
Whoosh!
In that moment, “Master! Dodge left!”
Suddenly, Jeong Ahyeon shouted from behind.
Glancing at her, I noticed a number had increased above her head.
I must have regressed right before the fight.
Listening to Jeong Ahyeon, I tried to dodge left.
But an inexplicable sense of unease restrained my movements.
Simultaneously, my instincts urgently warned me.
Don’t go left.
Ultimately, deciding to trust my instincts over Jeong Ahyeon’s warning, I abruptly turned right.
At that moment, the deer’s headbutt charged toward my left.
Boom!
With tremendous force, it tore through the space, proving its might.
“No way, dodging that!!”
“Hey, you fckin’ btch!!”
The red number above Jeong Ahyeon’s head rose slightly.
But there was no time to yell at her anymore.
Now, the deer’s number had risen above its head as well.
It was close enough that a mirror fragment was created, but I couldn’t look at it.
I was too shocked by the approaching deer to focus on it.
The deer came closer, inserting its front leg into its own fur.
What appeared next was something completely incompatible with the deer.
It was big, robust, and unbelievable that a deer could have such a thing.
Click!
A double-barrel shotgun.
The deer quickly shouldered the shotgun and aimed it at me.
Then it grinned, letting out a short roar.
Craack!
“Kiiiiiek.”
I barely ducked down to the ground, just escaping the bullet aimed at me.
Then I rolled away, getting out of its aiming point and attempted communication.
“Was that technique… Ten Thousand Flowers of Fire?”
“Kiiiek.”
The deer nodded in agreement to my words.
Seeing that, Jeong Ahyeon’s voice of disbelief rang out.
“Fck! How is that Ten Thousand Flowers of Fire*?! And the Chinese characters are wrong too!!”
“Hey! Deer! Answer me! The double-barreled shotgun is orthodox martial arts, right?”
“Kiiiek kiiiiek!”
“Shinwoo, what’s it saying?”
“The deer says, ‘Of course it’s orthodox martial arts.’”
I wasn’t mistaken.
The birthplace of true martial arts is the land of firearms, America.
[With $600, I can execute Sicheng Dangga’s secret technique.]
‘With $6000, I could execute Hundred Steps Divine Fist.‘
Jeong Ahyeon began to scream in disbelief.
“Don’t joke around!!! Do you really think talking with animals makes sense!!”
“…I hope Shinwoo that f*cker is lying.”
“Up to Sojeo… what on earth happened during the vacation!!!”
Then, her strength failed, and she collapsed on the spot.
Eventually, Jeong Ahyeon started muttering with a vacant smile.
“I was the one who had it all wrong? I’m the abnormal one? Hahahahaha.”
It was pitiful.
Although lacking in common sense, she was a good friend; who would have thought she’d break down like this?
But before I could shake off my pity, another crisis occurred.
The deer was now aiming the double-barrel shotgun at me.
“Kiiiek.”
It seemed like a farewell gesture as the deer started putting its paw on the trigger.
With a grin, just before the deer pulled the trigger.
In that moment, a hero appeared.
Swish swish… Sizzle!
“Captain Mice-merica! I knew you’d come through!!”
The black rat that had been knocked away by the Martial Arts Deer, rebirthed like a mouse.
No.
Captain Mouse.
Captain Mouse jumped in from the deer’s blind spot and executed a hero landing right above its head.
The deer was also surprised.
But perhaps deciding that eliminating me was priority, it realigned its aim toward me.
In that moment.
Captain Mouse unleashed a technique allowed only to the chosen rodents.
<Captain Mice-merica Style – Reciting Disney OST>
In the chaotic battlefield.
The tune flowing from Captain Mouse’s mouth gradually spread.
With the San Avengers cleaning up most of the deer.
A handful of deer resisted until the end.
And all of it was being watched by Hyeji’s group and the restaurant patrons.
Everyone, as if enchanted by a Siren, began to be captivated by the song’s magical power.
With beautiful melodies and magnificent lyrics.
Especially, that word composed of eleven letters was enough to stir immense emotion by itself.
But every beautiful rose has thorns.
Within the sweet melody now ringing, there were thorns as well.
Lurking within the song was the monster known as copyright.
Yeah.
This was poison.
Beautiful yet lethally exquisite poison.
The first to react to the poison was the Martial Arts Deer.
The deer’s expression froze, and it quickly began to plug its ears with its forepaws.
The double-barrel shotgun fell to the ground, but that no longer seemed important.
The only thing it could do was shut its eyes and cover its ears, fervently praying for the song to be over.
Others were no different.
Those who could use their limbs to block their ears did so with all their might.
Those who couldn’t use their limbs pressed their heads deep into the ground or corners.
Thud thud…
To escape the poison.
But Captain Mouse’s volume did not decrease; it only grew bigger.
As if intending to plant an indelible poison in everyone.
And that poison soon infiltrated the deer.
The deer, unable to hear the song due to plugging its ears, appeared unaffected.
However, Captain Mouse was right above its head.
Through bone conduction, the music imbued with copyright poison began to imprint itself clearly in the deer’s mind.
In an attempt to expel the poison, the deer screamed at the top of its lungs.
As if it were the last gasp.
“Kiiiiiiiek!!!!”
“M-I-C-K-E-”
“Hey! Don’t write the lyrics! That’s dangerously risky!”
I walked slowly towards the deer, picking up the double-barrel shotgun it had dropped.
Just then, the deer opened its eyes slightly, noticing my movement.
The moment our eyes met, horror filled the deer’s expression.
But it was already too late.
I aimed the shotgun at the deer and spoke.
“O mighty deer of Sicheng Dangga, do you know what your flaw is?”
The deer looked at me with resentment and unfairness.
However, the world of competition is always cold.
I added my last words to the deer.
“To not be able to withstand such poison as this, ‘Invulnerability to a Thousand Poisons’ (千毒不侵) is your weakness, not ‘Invulnerability to Ten Thousand Poisons’ (萬毒不侵).”
The deer tried to vehemently refute my words, understanding what I meant.
But I was a tad bit quicker to pull the trigger.
Boom!
“Kiiiiiiiiek…”
Due to the protective energy enveloping its body, although the deer got shot by the shotgun, it suffered no scratches.
However, it couldn’t withstand the explosive force of the shotgun blast and was sent flying away.
At the same time, the Captain Mouse tripped without the support of the deer.
I gently caught the noble figure in my hands.
“O great one…”
Chirp chirp!
As the Martial Arts Deer fell, the remaining deer also surrendered.
In that moment, as every beast roared in triumph.
I raised high the hands that held Captain Mouse.
Roar!!!
All eyes were on me.
And I gave that noble one the highest praise.
“Captain! Oh My Captain!”
ROAR!!! ROAR!!!
The battlefield was engulfed in an even louder roar.
It was our victory!
