Chapter 95
“El? You don’t look so good these days. Is something bothering you?”
“I was debating whether to say it or not, but Selian is telling it instead.”
“Huh? Nothing’s wrong, right? Do I really look that bad?”
“Yes. Your dark circles are drooping, your skin looks a bit rough, and you seem completely spaced out. You look like you lack energy in everything you do.”
…So that’s how bad I look.
“Hahaha… I found an interesting novel lately and stayed up all night reading it. How about you give it a try, Selian?”
“No, I’m not really interested in novels. I appreciate the thought, though.”
Well, I’ve never seen Selian reading a novel.
The only books I’ve seen her with are textbooks or ones related to heroes.
I remember glancing at a book Selian borrowed and instantly getting a headache, so I had to put it back.
“No matter how interesting the book is, you should get some sleep at night.”
I don’t have the memory, but it felt like Yuli was scolding me like a mother.
However, her voice was filled only with concern for me, making it hard to defend myself.
“Okay, okay. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to close my eyes on time from now on.”
“Hehe, El is getting scolded! You should have gone to bed earlier!”
“…Anne, you did your homework, right? Today’s the day to submit the assignment about demonic monsters’ ecology, right?”
She wouldn’t stop chattering when she was teasing me, but as soon as Yuli shifted the target to her, she zipped it.
“Anne?”
“Uh, what should I do? I said I’d do it yesterday, but as soon as I sat down at my desk, I fell asleep… Ugh…”
“Well, when we agreed to do homework together, you shouldn’t have been playing around. I’ll keep an eye on you, so hurry up and pull out your notebook.”
“It’s fine! I can just make up for the lack with my practical scores…”
“Last time, how many written scores did you miss? You could’ve easily gotten a scholarship if you had done just okay.”
I hurried to help Yuli attack Anne, so that she wouldn’t aim an arrow back at me.
Fortunately, Yuli’s scolding and Selian’s worry were directed at Anne and not me.
Seeing that, I let out a sigh when my friends weren’t looking.
I had been too careless.
My friends reacted to my state more sensitively than I expected.
I didn’t think my dark circles looked that bad or that I was behaving any differently than usual, but apparently, it didn’t seem that way to my friends.
I can’t worry them for no reason.
This is my own karma, a sin I must bear.
*
– Are you really betraying the guild? Why is there no news?
After roll call, in the dead of night.
Inside my one-person room, where no one would come in at this hour, I was conversing through a communication magical crystal.
Damn. I had already been losing sleep over various thoughts lately, and after Yuli and Selian scolded me in the morning, I was sure I wouldn’t be getting to bed early today either.
It had been a long time since I made up the excuse that I broke the communication device, but the “Third” who visited last time handed me a new one despite the guild’s tight finances.
I was filled with the desire to throw the voice out of the communication device immediately, but doing so would mean losing my chance to explain myself.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be executing the plan soon.”
– …Alright. I’ll believe you. You are my best creation, after all. There’s no way you’d let me down.
The Guild Master’s confidence in saying this must be significantly due to the Master-Servant Mark.
If he gives me an order through a scroll, I wouldn’t be able to refuse it.
At least I’m thankful that being this far away means he can’t enforce the order.
– But it seems our client is quite urgent. Let’s set a deadline.
In the meantime, I’ve been making all sorts of excuses and tricks to delay the Guild Master’s order to carry out the assassination.
However, my attempts pale in comparison to a mere passing remark from the Guild Master.
– On the last day of the Celestial Festival. You must complete the request by then.
“…Understood. I will make sure to succeed.”
– Hehe… If you succeed in this mission, our guild will undeniably become a top-tier assassination guild. You’ll be the best among them.
I’m glad that the communication device only conveys voice and doesn’t show my appearance.
Even if I can’t see my reflection in a mirror, it’s pretty obvious what kind of expression I must be making right now.
– Don’t forget. Your every thought and action is in my hands.
“…Yes.”
Shit.
If it were back when I was “Third,” I wouldn’t have reacted this way, but ever since becoming “Elysia,” this rough language escaped my lips along with my feminine voice.
Since the communication was already cut off, I didn’t worry that my voice would be transmitted.
I shoved the communication device somewhere out of sight and laid back down on my bed.
As Yuli and Selian said, my body was begging for sleep, but my increasingly complicated mind wouldn’t let me doze off.
One hour, two hours, three hours…
Even with my eyes tightly closed, I couldn’t fall asleep and found myself getting up from bed again.
Instead, I grasped the sword that I had bought with my friends during our last outing to the city, standing beside my bed.
The form of the sword, the weight it felt when lifted, even the grip felt a bit large in my hand, but I didn’t pay it much attention.
Rather, it felt satisfying to realize it was distinctly different from the sword I had used for over ten years.
I can feel that I’ve changed from before.
Moreover, I can prepare for even the slightest chance that might come my way.
With the sword in hand, I stood in front of a full-length mirror.
Not only was the sword reflected in the mirror, but the person holding it looked different from the one I had seen for over a decade.
The appearance of “Elysia,” not “Third.”
I stood quietly staring at the mirror for a moment, then lowered my pajama pants and slightly pulled down my underwear, resting it on my hips.
Then, the Master-Servant Mark tattoo hidden beneath appeared.
No matter how much I struggle against the desire to change, that cursed tattoo shows no sign of letting me go.
If it weren’t for this damn thing, perhaps I could have lived a somewhat normal life than I do now?
I wouldn’t have to be raised as an assassin; I could have grown up in an ordinary family, getting scolded and loved by my parents like a regular kid.
Of course, those situations of becoming a woman wouldn’t exist either.
I wonder what my mother is like? She might be like Yuli, usually nurturing, but knowing when to scold when needed.
What about my father? Perhaps the opposite of my mother, generally strict but sneaking up and offering a word of encouragement when I’m feeling down.
Maybe I even have siblings.
An older sister, or a younger sister. Or perhaps an older brother or a younger brother.
I would prefer an older sister. Then she could come by when things get tough and give me a comforting hug.
Growing up in a warm family, I could make close friends and perhaps meet someone I would love one day.
Of course, I might also face heartbreak.
But if it were me, I could rise up again after the pain of heartbreak, right?
And when I finally forget all the hurt from that breakup, I would meet someone I truly love.
At first, I might approach a bit awkwardly. And the other person would smile, finding my awkwardness amusing.
At that point, it would be half a success.
I would gradually, without rushing, get closer to the girl who had let her guard down at my clumsy ways.
Then, when I see an opportunity, I’d snatch her up in one go.
She would fall for me just as I fell for her after seeing my confident side, which is different from usual.
After that, we would confirm our feelings for each other, gradually growing closer, and eventually getting married.
Let’s keep the wedding small, just inviting our families.
One son who resembles me and one daughter who resembles my wife would be enough, I think…
But who knows, like me, she might have a lot of wishes and want many more children.
We’d raise our kids, growing older little by little, and eventually, our children would also marry and give us grandchildren.
Imagining sitting with cute grandchildren and reading them storybooks brings a smile to my face.
And when they grow up, becoming adults, I want to slowly close my eyes, holding my wife’s hand under a tree where a cool breeze blows.
That way, I could have lived a simple but happily extraordinary life… perhaps.
Yeah. If only it weren’t for this Master-Servant Mark.
I raised one hand and scratched at the cursed tattoo with my slightly grown nails again and again, over and over…
But even as red marks appeared on my skin, scratches formed, and blood trickled as my flesh tore, the Master-Servant Mark showed no signs of disappearing.